Category: Family

Chore sticks…

teacuppamela

A clean home is a happy home.  I know, I know, if ever there was a guilt inducing statement, that is it!  But, seriously, think with me for a moment… consider some of the very best homemaker feelings/accomplishments.  Doesn’t a ship-shape-top-to-bottom tidy give you a great feeling?  How about a thoroughly cleaned out garage, a freshly cleaned and ordered pantry, fridge or bedroom closet?  If you stop and think about these sorts of things, you’ll probably quickly remember how great it felt and how smoothly things seemed to run in your home.  Remember? 

With the advent of our son getting married a couple of weeks ago, a bit of space was freed up in our home.  And, well, as you can imagine (especially if you’ve got a lot of children still home), the ideas and possibilities seemed to explode and the enthusiasm to clean out, paint, rearrange and clean up bedrooms was at an all time high.  And at the end of a few days, when the bulk of the work was completed, the bedrooms were nearly all set up. Fresh and clean… and happy.

I have an idea for you… something that might add a little fun to your cleaning schedule — and maybe even to help you set up a cleaning schedule and give you some time saving ideas, to give you some inspiration and to make it fun.

You’re going to need a few supplies, first.  I’d suggest that you get a binder or a piece of paper that you’ll add to your kitchen binder / log / whatever.  Make a list of all the different chores you know must be done.  Then, go back an prioritize the list into groupings of least to most important (or vice versa).  The reason I’m suggesting that you write this down in a binder is that you’ll then have a written record that you can consult every time you’re going to do seasonal chores or monthly chores.  If you don’t have a kitchen binder or a home/time management binder, then, most sincerely, I’d suggest that you get one, and begin to load it up with your family/home information, plans, important lists, etc.  And, yes, I do mean paper, pens and a plastic/metal 3-ring binder.  You’ll keep this with your cookbooks, etc.

After you’ve written your necessary chores list and arranged them in some order of importance, then you’ll need to get some wide craft sticks or tongue depressors and two jars.  Then, write the chores – individually – on the sticks.  I have written with Sharpie pens so that the ink won’t run if the sticks get wet – and I can reuse them many times this way.   I may give an estimated time to complete the chore – or an asterisk on the stick to indicate importance or priority.

It really doesn’t matter what you do, it’s just a matter of doing what you know you must do and determine to get those things done. This stick method is but one method you might use.

This isn’t meant to put you in some sort of chore bondage, or to dictate that you must do it this way — and, believe me, this method is not the key you’ve been searching for to get your house in order once and for all.  The order — once and for all — deal doesn’t exist.  But you can learn ways to bring about a semblance of order that makes for a more smoothly run home and a more orderly way of keeping and caring for the things we all need to have/use in our homes.

So, maybe you’ve got the idea of making the lists in the binder and you’ve even imagined that you could write out the chores on the sticks… now what?  Simple put the sticks — as many as your chore load dictates — in a jar.  And then, establish a cleaning segment of every day and pick sticks each time, do the task on the stick, move on to another and another as time allows.  STOP working when your allotted cleaning time is up.  Plan to work the next day and the next — starting and stopping at the planned time, and so on, until the jobs you need to complete have all been completed.    Put the completed chore stick into the empty jar and see how quickly you can get the sticks transferred from the first jar to the next.  After a few days, you’ll be amazed at how much you can do AND how much you’ve gotten done.  Save the sticks in your cabinet for the next overall house deep-cleaning and a couple of months (you can also make chore sticks for daily work or weekly/monthly work).

This will go much faster if you’ll mobilize your troops!  Seriously!  Teach your children to love to work and to work hard at it!  Your attitude and zeal will be very motivating for them.  And the daily allotted time deal?  It’s a real loving incentive and doesn’t break morale —if— you’ll but stick to it.  God bless you and your clean, happy home.

 

When God Intervenes

teacuppamela

Do you ever stop and wonder what the Lord has spared you from facing or what things He prevented or protected you from?  Have you ever wondered about ‘near misses’ or things that would have happened had God not intervened on your behalf? 

I’ve been thinking about these sorts of things again today as I reflect on an incident that happened yesterday.  I’d changed the sheets and bedding and was just finishing tucking in the quilt when something caught on my shoe.  Looking down to see what it was, I could find nothing and so I got down to smooth my hand over the carpet to feel for whatever it was that had caught on my shoe.  Much to my surprise (and amazement, really!), there on the carpet was a needle.  I marveled… here I had been sick in bed for days, many times a day up to the bathroom or out to the kitchen and back to bed again, day after day.  And, day after day that needle had to have been right there — right there were I stepped down over and over again — but, obviously, I never stepped on it.

Now, if you know me, you’d know that this is one of the things I am nearly psycho over: needles.  Sewing needles, that is.   I’m generally meticulously careful to keep them put away, and everyone in my family hears this line when anyone is sewing:  Have you ever heard about the times when I was a little girl?  They glaze over and nod, mmm hmmm — probably thankful I don’t repeat the whole tale.  But they know it.

For when I was a little girl, we’d just moved into a new home and as I was putting things away in my new bedroom closet, I felt the stick of a needle in my foot.  Shocked, I went to tell my mother that I thought I’d just stepped on a needle!   Thus, a trip to the hospital where an x-ray revealed that, indeed, I’d stepped on that needle and it had broken in my foot and needed to be surgically removed.   Obviously not too traumatized by the incident, I continued to go barefoot — it was Southern California, after all.    

Well,  just a couple of weeks later, while visiting my father in a nearby city and after being there a just a few days, I again stepped on a needle — in the other foot.  I didn’t know it at the time and would later learn that he couldn’t handle and/or was very dramatic about anything having to do with pain or blood or crying.   I was taken to the hospital to, again, have a needle surgically removed from my foot.   Interestingly, what I really recall from that was that the needle insertion for the anesthetic was more painful than stepping on and breaking that needle in my foot.  And, the ride home included ice cream and the next day for a preplanned trip to Disneyland, I had to ride in a wheelchair and be carried onto each of the rides. 

So the point is that that needle had been right there beside our bed for some time… a week? two weeks? longer?  And the Lord had protected me from what has been a lifetime concern.  I took time to acknowledge that yesterday when it happened and have many times since… just thanking the Lord for His watchcare over me, for His mercy and kindness and for saving me from and protecting me from things I’ll never know.   And today I’ve continued to think on different things that He’s spared me from, different “near misses” from accidents, to missteps, to consequences for foolish actions and on and on.

Last night as I went upstairs to the different beds to say goodnight to the children (I know… they’re mostly all grown now, but since they’re still home I try to be there to tell them goodnight).  As I walked around the girl’s bedroom where they were all ready for sleep, I said to them how grateful to God I am for giving them such a safe and peaceful room, such a pleasant place to rest — that He has been guarding and guiding them. 

And as I returned to our room, the thought washed over me that God has done this for all of us.  Wherever we are, whatever we’re doing, wherever we go… He’s already there – already watching over us.  He’s already gone before us and whatever happens has first sifted through His capable Hands and has already been part of His providential plan for us.

Maybe you can think of different times where you know that God clearly intervened on your behalf and spared you or provided for you providentially such that you know that you know  that only He could have done that… that He alone is the Lord.

Whose Plans?

teacuppamela It’s sure a beautiful Springtime day here in the Snohomish Valley — it’s the kind of day that puts thoughts of rains and flooding to a very distant memory — though such a great possibility  only a few short months ago.  It’s funny how quickly a current reality can totally erase or totally eclipse another, isn’t it?

As I walked around outside for the first time in a week, I stopped at each of the different garden beds and then on out to the vegetable garden where my initial delight was slightly dimmed by the vision of all the weeds… all that needs to be done.  And you know what song came to mind?  The House at Pooh Corner song:  “… So help me if you can, I’ve got to get – Back to the house at Pooh Corner by one – You’d be surprised, there’s so much to be done – Count all the bees in the hive – Chase all the clouds from the sky – Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh…”

And then it stuck me that there’s nothing more to be done than what’s been needed in years past.  Same thing.  From the beginning, year after year, it’s the same thing: we pull the weeds, we till the ground, we plant the seeds and water them well.  Yet, each year I say the very same thing… sort of the inane, “you’d be surprised there’s so much to be done…” statement.  And then I smiled at the thought of counting all the bees in the hive.  But life’s like that — the surprising things that need to be done are generally more than we can do — like counting the bees in the hive.  And yet, has God truly given us more than we can do?  I think we’re the ones who lay on ourselves more than we can do and what God gives us to do is not more than we can do — because if we would remember: it is God that works in us both to will and to do of His good pleasure.  In that same passage, the following verses admonish us to:  “…do all things without murmurings and disputings:  That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world.” — Philippians 2.14-15

So what does the simple storybook song have to teach me in this?  The things I fret over getting done: I cannot possibly get done.  But what God gives me to do, I will seek to do without murmuring or complaining — for what He calls me to do: He will equip me to do.  Ergo, if He hasn’t called me to do it, He hasn’t expected me to do it and, at this moment, hasn’t equipped me to do it and those frets and expectations came not from Him but from somewhere else!  So then, I have to ask, if I’m fretting, murmuring or disputing over things I’m doing: am I doing what I’ supposed to be doing?  Or, perhaps, am I doing things out of selfishness? fear? pride? envy? guilt?  

Now, there are times when we do things or must do things that we feel we cannot possibly do but we know we’re to do them — I can think of many examples of this, and you probably can, too.  These are steps we take in faith — but inherent in this is the fact that we lean on the everlasting Arms and trust in Him for His provision.  These are the:  “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” times.  You see? If we’re doing we’ve been called to do, even if we feel as though we cannot do them,  He’s already there, and by faith, we are IN Christ by the faith OF Christ and HE has said HE work in us to will and do to of His good pleasure.  That’s great and blessed assurance. 

So when I see all that needs to be done, when I think of the many other things that also need doing, I have a couple of options.  I can (and very easily so!) become overwhelmed at all there is to be done –OR– I can observe all these things, and acknowledge they are out there and evaluate them for what they are.  And then, the Lord being my helper (calling to mind again, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” –philippians 4.13), I will do that which He guides me to do and leave off doing those things which are motivated by those other sources that are not of Him.   This is hard sometimes because the spirit is willing, but the flesh is so weak.  We’re so often more controlled by what others think than what God thinks — but, truly, you and  I must consider our motivation when we list out all that we (think) we must do.

It’s been brought to mind so many times for me over the last week as I’ve not been well and have spent so much time in bed… all my fretting over what I shouldda, couldda, wouldda been doing had I not been laid low all these days… all my fretting didn’t get those things done and didn’t get me out of that bed any sooner.   I realized as I was reading in the Book of John several days ago that the Lord had something for me there (and for such a time as this)… something for me to let sink down in my ears, to really take in:  Jesus repeated, on many occasions, that He did only the will of the Father.  And so must I: for the express purpose of being Christlike: doing that which the Father directs–doing the will of God.   As I purpose to concentrate on health, I must also concentrate on motivations — the what and why of all my doings.  I hope you’ll be encouraged as I am for the will and work of the Lord in each of our lives… and that you’ll join me in waiting on His plan and purposes in His time.  So let your light shine…

Being conformed…

teacuppamela

Earlier today I was reflecting on some of the unlikely ways God conforms us to the image of His dear Son — and some of the unlikely tools He chooses to use to work that conformation in us (and maybe even through us from time to time).  I asked my dear mother in law if she’d send me the quotes she was sharing with me as we talked about God’s work in our lives — I’ll share them with you when she sends them.

I’ve been sincerely amazed at the ways God works His will and His purposes in my life / in our lives.  It seems the most impossible, difficult and maybe even painful situations are the ones that bring the richest, choicest fruit in our lives.  But they are, indeed, the situations or incidents we’d most likely attempt to avoid (or choose differently) or reject.  But God doesn’t choose differently, when He works a work or plans to work a work, He has very precise purposes for the things He allows to happen in our lives — even, and not surprisingly, our most foolish or careless decisions can be used to bear rich fruit for our good and His glory. 

It’s a good thing we don’t choose the tools of our training or the methods of our sanctification — well, I’m thinking if we did/could/do attempt to choose them, our attempts would/do fail to accomplish His purposes.  First, we’d reject the tools and then we’d reject the method — thinking and reasoning that our method and our tools would be easier better wiser.  Our ways always seem at the time:  mo bettah.  A fool is wise in his own eyes…

Today I was thinking of the ways the Lord has taught me to love my children in the way He loves them.  For it was easy to love them in the way I could love them.  But along the way, He’s allowed situations to occur to teach me to love them in His way.  He’s allowed situations to occur or come to pass that would mold me or are molding me into the woman He’s created me to be.  The Lord has sought to use tools I wouldn’t have chosen — actually can’t choose to use.  And yet, in His mercy and in His kindness He is working that I might be conformed to His image. He’s also lavished grace on me (and them!) that I continually can be used in their lives, that I can continually grow and adapt as the mother they need me to be — doing what HE would have rather than what I might choose or neglect to choose to do.  And by His grace, He enables me to press on in faith that He who has begun a good work in me will complete it…

He seeks to conform us to love, to be forbearing, to be kind, to be patient, to be peaceful/peaceable, to be gentle, to be temperate and so on.   All of these qualities are the fruit of the Spirit – and we all desire to have these characterize our lives -but they’re not the fruit of self, they’re the fruit of the Spirit and they’re not planted, cultivated or increased by the flesh — again, they’re of and by the Spirit of God. 

So as I was seeking answers/fruit in some different areas, it seemed to hit me today like a ton of bricks… the answers I’m seeking — the fruit I’m desiring — is not [going to be] my doing!  It’s God’s doing! It’s God’s work: in His timing, by His will in His way.  And so as I was seeing the dawning of His work in some specific areas, I began to see this truth:  God chooses the fruit and He chooses the tools He uses to bring it about.  I want to be so yielded to Him that I will not resist the methods of His choosing and the tools He uses as He works His marvelous will in my life.

 

memories…

teacuppamelaA few months ago, our son married his sweetheart and it seemed that those days brought about as many tears as they did smiles as we remembered — over and over again — days gone by.  I’ve been thinking about that recently as I’ve been daily thinking of things for which to be thankful over the last thirty-five years.  I’ve been overwhelmed with thankfulness to the Lord for my husband and for the blessings — the heaps of blessings thirty-five years have brought us.  It’s amazing how many memories have come to mind — and possibly more amazing is that I cannot recall so many things that I’m sure were extremely significant at the time.  It’s as if the flood of events and experiences have sort of washed over so many of them that most of them have been covered over — buried under the more significant events and experiences.  Nevertheless, perhaps one day, I’ll be rocking in my chair and will remember things the way they were.  I got to thinking of a song that was popular around the time of our wedding… and the words reminded me to remember the laughter… and the way we were…

Memories
Light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were

Can it be that it was all so simple then
Or has time rewritten every line
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me – Would we? Could we?

Memories
May be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget

So it’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were

Empty Spaces

I don’t know what it is about “empty spaces” and my (and maybe your) insatiable need to fill them, but both are there: the empty spaces and the insatiable need to fill them.  I guess I attempt to fill full spaces, too… but that’s another story for another day.

I was tempted to take the beautiful new calendar my daughter bought for me and insert it into the oak calendar frame and rehang it clean and fresh — empty — for awhile.  But before I knew it, I was filling in birthdays — deciding to limit the notations to ‘family’ birthdays (and use my day-planner for these and everyone else’s birthdays) and other significant dates and events.

That’s when I began to think about the insatiable filling of space… spaces in rooms, on shelves, closets, cabinets… and: scheduling.   While considering  all this,  it struck me: I cannot recall ever scheduling empty space — making time for nothing; read: no thing.   Through all the many years of homeschooling, I’ve never scheduled time for “nothing.”  I’ve scheduled “free time” but it was not for *no-thing* it was/is for all the stuff that couldn’t be done in a day and somehow the hope was to get it done during what’s loosely called free-time.  I always find ways to fill and overload my “free time” so I’ll seem more productive.

Now, I know I’ve had days “off” with no real plans and I’ve frittered away the time doing nothing important and so I guess, to some, this would constitute a day of nothing — and — I have set aside days for which there are to be no “outside commitments” or no appointments, etc. But a day or a portion of time set aside for “nothing” on purpose?!?! — this, I don’t recall ever doing.  Generally, when there’s down-time, it’s a result of cancelled plans or sickness or whatever — but not something scheduled on purpose — and it seems to immediately get filled.

My dear old friend, Florence, used to say that she scheduled a day of NO THINGS after each retreat or workshop for which she was the guest speaker.   She’d do this to recharge — to rejuvenate — after speaking engagements that always tended to run long and require much “counseling” with attendees — generally coupled with long distance travel.  I always knew this was her great joy and passion, but it took its toll on her — both physically and emotionally.  I admired her careful planning and ordered life.  But, truly, I also knew that her days of doing “no” thing were anything but days of *no* things.  I know they were times of recharging, refocusing, resting in the Lord, thinking on His Word, listening to restful music and mulling over what all had transpired before the day of “no things.”

It was good for me to remember this as I was gathering my thoughts for this blog post… and I’m needing to consider this a bit more as I plan for the days ahead and all the different needs of this home and family.  And… just like I’m trying to eliminate clutter from our home’s cabinets, closets and drawers, so also, I want to eliminate clutter from our schedules — AND — to plan for more *do no thing*  times — scheduling some empty space times. I want us to be careful to follow the Lord in this so that it doesn’t become a time of silly things or a time for irresponsibility…  I believe prayerful consideration and wisdom will be key in this.

And, as an aside, while I know there’s a good place for scheduling in different seasons of life — and some seasons will have some fairly intense scheduling — but when it’s all said and done, I’ve come to think it’s wisest to simply make a list of things that must be accomplished by certain times each day – and do them.  And then a list of things that should be done at least every-other-day — and do them.  And then a list of things that must be done weekly — and do them. You see?  This way, we are trained and our children are trained to accomplish important things — decently and in order.  I think it takes some times of *no* things to focus on, be ready for and appreciate the times of more things.

So… I’m working on creating some more ’empty spaces’ from time to time…

Live a Great Love Story

I hope you’ll take time to listen to the following video clips — a three part series, foundational to both marriage and Christianity… about a God who is passionate and full of life.  And the Bible: the greatest love story ever written… God created marriage and He is passionate… Unless we have this life and this passion, we’re not an accurate reflection of our God who created these emotions and marriage and romance and love.

Sometimes we see Jesus as a great Saviour, but do we see Him as a great role model?  Regarding your marriage… Francis Chan says, “…It’s not,  ‘Are you happy?’ ”  “When people watch you interact with your spouse, do they see Jesus Christ in you?”

Whoever claims to life in Him, must walk and live as Jesus did.  Do we follow in His steps?

Watch Francis Chan and his wife, Lisa, as they minister in this three part series: Christ Centered Relationships

The First Seat on the Right Side of the Center Aisle

I wrote the following a few years after our firstborn son was married in 1998.  Thinking back on that day, reflecting on all that’s transpired and all that’s happening currently, I decided to get this out and reread it.  The same mama, similar feelings, better understanding… as plans are underway for another son who’ll marry next week.  I’m so thankful I’ve had a little more time and a few more experiences so this time is not so overwhelming (and, I don’t have a  2+ week old newborn this time).  But the emotions?  They’re very much the same.  And here you have another glimpse of my life — and maybe yours, too. Continue reading “The First Seat on the Right Side of the Center Aisle”

Lies Women Believe

I’ve been working through a workbook to a book I read a number of years ago — Nancy Leigh DeMoss’s Lies Women Believe and now, the corresponding workbook.  I’ll be writing more on this.  So, I’ve been rereading some things I read years ago and marveled that I’m still dealing with several of the same struggles. Interestingly, it’s part of what’s gotten me to work on habits, thought patterns and more.  I’d been wanting to work through/eliminate the struggles, but it’s always too daunting to revisit painful areas of life or, realizing how little progress I’ve made and the why’s behind the what’s happening now in some of my thoughts and reactions to things makes resolutions difficult.  But one thing I’m continually reminded of is the great fact that when things aren’t going right or my thoughts and reactions aren’t right, they can usually be traced back to a lie I’ve believed or something I’ve not recognized as a lie — but a lie nonetheless: something contrary to what God says.  Thus, when struggles come, there’s a decision that must be made at that juncture:  Am I going to fall into the lie? Am I going to entertain the lie (about myself or about my situation or about someone else)?  Or, am I going to ask: What does God say about this — what has God done about this — What is true here?   Again, troubles and temptations we face can usually be traced back to a lie we’ve believed.  And our next actions need to be based on Truth — or we’ll repeat the same sin spiral.

I viewed some of Nancy’s clips and then came across this one with Jennifer Rothschild and thought it might be helpful to someone today — now, some of this breaks down and there could be some argument as to some aspects of the points, so I encourage grace here so that the Truths can be understood  and some freedom realized.  I took notes and posted them below the clip for you:

Here’s a mini recap:
Lie #1: Who I am and what I struggle with is the same thing.
I am my weakness.  My struggle identifies me – my weakness defines me.  Your struggle is not what defines you, it’s what God can use to refine you.  We are not the culmination of what we’ve failed at… who we are is a reflection of God’s strength in our weakness.  Who you are is not what you struggle with.  Who you are is who God says you are.

Lie #2: Who I am and What I do is the same thing.
You are not a human doing – you are a human being. Our identity is not what we do, it’s who He says we are. It’s a lie to base our identity upon what we do — we must base our identity on what God says; His Word never changes.

Lie #3: Who I am is not good enough.
When we live with a Performance driven mentality, rather than a Provision driven mentality, we’ll inevitably feel like what we do is not good enough, because we don’t always perform perfectly and we make the mistake of   associating our performance with what makes us acceptable.  And that’s not true.  But when we live with a Provision driven mentality, we recognize that what God has performed on our behalf or what He’s provided is always acceptable.

So, here’s Jennifer’s advice, are you believing lies?  check out your behaviour…. it reveals what you believe.  Look in the New Testament — seek all the I AM statements about Jesus.  See who He is.  Make the connection: How does His life, His identity impact your life, impact your identity and how does that impact your belief system and therefore, your behaviour.