Womanhood – Page 2 – The Welcome Home

This Could Be…

As I read year-end letters, more Christmas cards and letters, headlines and articles, a common theme is always revisited this time of year — sure as New Year’s resolutions, are the slogans and affirmations: Out with the old, in with the New! This Year’s the Year for You! The sentiments may have very different motivation, very different context, but the intent is the same: This year’s going to be the best year ever!

And they always are. Today.

Today is the first day of the New Year… clean, fresh slate, an unmarked calendar, a new dawn, a bright new day unmarred by the oft repeated sins of our youth. We may look back at previous years and see the failings that trip us up, the habits that chain us, the bitterness that superglues us to the past — but somehow, today, we have before us a new year with all the possibilities and none of the failures of the year that’s just passed by. Every thing we ever wanted to do – to be – to say – to think: we can now plan (again) to do because THIS is going to be the best year ever.

And, you know… this could be. This could be the best year ever. This could be the year to crown all years. It will all depend on what we say and do and think in response to all the God says and does and thinks toward us. This could be the best year of our lives and not at all for all the reasons we might imagine. This could be the best year of our lives because of what God is doing in and through us or will do in and through us.

As you look back on the year that’s just passed, the year that’s so last year… Count your blessings, name them one by one… count your many blessings see what God has done.

This could be the year for you. I pray as I write this, that this will, indeed, be the year for you — and I pray all of these things for myself and my family, too, by the way — whenever I write “you” — I mean: me, too. ♥

I pray this will be the year you see the loving kindness of the Lord. I pray this will be the year you will take His hand and leave your hand in His. I pray this will be the year you will trust Him, follow Him, obey Him, love Him, yield your self to Him and His leading. I pray this will be the year you lay down your life, quit trying to go it alone — that you let go of all those things that bind you and lay them at the foot of the Cross. I pray you will finish well — this will be the year you will have been found faithful.

Could this be the year for you?

CSA: Risk Telling the Story

Telling stories of your yesterdays bores some people, encourages some people and inspires some people — embarrasses some people, too. I know, many times through the years, I’ve witnessed the reactions women have when some woman opens her mouth to share her story. I’ve seen it when I’ve shared my story. They’ve heard it all before and they’re weary at the thought of having to hear it ah-gain. People totally write other people off when they’re weary of hearing their stories.

Sadly, as some poor woman begins to utter the first sentence of her story (again), her audience, as if cued to do so, glazes over. They seem to go into auto-pilot as they remain in their chairs, appearing to be listening, but really they’re mentally rehearsing their to-do lists, mentally reorganizing their craft drawers, mapping out their gardens or surreptitiously inserting an earbud to listen to their latest iTune download. And sadly, though it might not seem like it, she probably sees all this, I’ve seen all this.

But she tells her story. Again. I’ve told my story. Again.

This past week in our Sunday Meeting, a brother was sharing the culmination of seven year’s of prayer regarding a matter he’d been dealing with and how the Lord worked so mightily and so mercifully in his life and on his behalf. And then he shared a most encouraging and instructive admonition. And it was this: when someone’s going through something, when someone’s dealing with something, listen to them — listen to their story — even if you’ve heard it all before — even if you’re tired of hearing it. Listen to them… because even if it is tiring to hear the story again and again, the person telling the story is still going through the trial — still dealing with a struggle, a heartache, a sorrow — whatever. You might want to just move on… but, truly, if they’re still in the midst of a trial… they’re not moving on yet. And if you hang in there with them, then when the trial or the storm passes, you will be able to sincerely rejoice with them.

To ignore them or to apathetically check out as they’re talking is just as bad as saying: “Been there, Done that” when a person describes something they’re facing. The been there, done that phrase is really so selfish and disrespectful — though meanness or disrespect is not intended, it feels that way to the one sharing the story.

And so it is with the woman who is telling her story – in this case, about CSA. Especially if it’s just recently that she’s begun to risk revealing her story – her past – and her experiences because of it. It’s a terribly risky thing to do – the telling of the story. Because, by now, she’s faced the truth, she’s risked not being believed, she’s risked being harmed (further), she’s probably told on the perpetrator, she’s come out of the shadow of silence and shame and now she’s daring to be vulnerable with her hearers. Maybe even again. And again.

In the telling of her story, she’s risking judgment – real or imagined. She’s risking ridicule – real or imagined and, further, she’s risking her own feelings, her own suppressed memories, suppressed anger and fear coming to the surface all over again. Those things feel real — not imagined and the risk is real — not imagined.

What she doesn’t know going into it is how the Lord is using the experiences in her life in the lives of others. What she doesn’t know is that God is so big — so great — so merciful — that because He never wastes a thread, He can and will use what she’s gone through — what she’s going through and He will continue healing, working and reworking in her so that her life reflects His glory.

We rarely see that our sphere of influence is much greater than our sphere of acquaintance and the story we’ve told today, in a roomful of seemingly apathetic hearers, just might have fallen into the tender ears and heart of a sister who has a story she’s afraid to tell. The telling of the story may be just the encouragement she needs to muster the courage to tell her story.

If just one sister is helped, then the risk was so totally worth it.
If just one woman is helped by these CSA blog entries, then it’s all been worth it to me.

Could this be the year for you?

Could This Be *The* Year For You?

“If ye love Me, keep My commandments.”
—John 14.15

O, sisters in the LORD—could this be *the* year for you?

This is when the real change will occur… when we finally seek to know and to live the truths of God’s Word…when we lay our lives at His feet, when we give Him everything we’ve held on to: hands down… when we accept and apply the teaching of the Lord Jesus—demonstrating our love for Him by our obedience to Him… When we finally reckon with: If you love Me you will obey Me.

Could this be the year that you really get down on your knees and confess before the only Holy and Righteous LORD, who loves you endlessly, that you’ve been trying to “go it on your own” and that you are indeed willing that He would use you in whatever way He would choose and that, the Holy Spirit being your guide, you would willingly submit to His will and His ways? Could this be the year that you allow the Holy Spirit free reign in your life? Could this be the year that you would seriously begin to regularly rise early to drink from the rich well of God’s Word? Could this be the year that you would resolve to live in obedience to your husband—not because of what you will gain, but because of the LORD’s command that you do so? Could this be the year that you would cherish the blessings of the LORD: your children?

Could this be the year that you would redeem the time, that you would study the Word for yourself—that you would become a woman of the Word, rightly dividing the Word of Truth. Could this be the year that you would wisely choose the activities in which you would become involved, making sure that they are in line with your husband’s aims for your family, that they are Christ centered and Christ honouring?

Could this be the year that you would weigh very carefully the books you read, the places you might go and the decisions you might make? Could this be the year that you begin consulting your husband before you begin new projects, from attending a Bible study to following the leader of a weight control program, ordering from a catalog, accepting an invitation to another home-party, or taking on another women’s ministry?

Could this be the year that you come home—I mean really come home—to serve your husband? Could this be the year that you daily anticipate and prepare for the return of your husband each day? Could this be the year that you take up those tender things and tender ways you used to do and be for your husband? Could this be the year that you “fall in love all over again” with the man the LORD created
and “fitted” you to help? Could this be the year that your husband will never forget? Could this be the year that you look forward to meeting his needs? Could this be a year of fresh loving romance for you two? Could this be the year that you anticipate meeting his needs by getting enough rest, ordering the evenings, eating properly and exercising so that you are refreshed for him? (“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.” -Proverbs 5.18-19)

O, if your love for your husband has decreased, if your desire for him has gone… pray the LORD will help you delight in him once again, pray He will love your husband through you and that you will once again desire him. God is a God of miracles, nothing is too hard for the LORD. (Jeremiah 32.27 “Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?”)

Could this be the year that you would determine to be a contented wife, I mean really contented—content with him, his salary, your home, your automobile, your possessions? (Hebrews 13.5) I have heard many many times, there is nothing that pleases a man more than a contented wife… he can deal with a little clutter from time to time, he can deal with a little overweight, he can deal with delayed dinner, a forgotten appointment—but a discontented wife closes off the spirit of the man and drives him away.

Could this be the year that you come home—I mean really come home—as a servant to your family? Could this be the year that they know without doubt that you love them and *desire* to serve them, teach them, help them, prepare a home for them, are not inconvenienced by them, are not tired of them, are not waiting for them to hurry up and grow up so that you can get on with your life? If you’re a mama… this *is* your life. Could this be the year that you will *enjoy* what God has designed for you? (“He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.”—Psalms 113.9) O, if your gladness or desire has waned, pray the LORD will restore your love for the children… pray that He will help you see them as He sees them—as blessings. He loves children… and He will help you love them… (Genesis 18.14 “Is any thing too hard for the LORD?…”) You can trust Him to help you love them the way He wants you to love them and care for them as He would have you to care for them. He can restore your love for them — for motherhood and for your home.

You know, my sweet sisters in the LORD… this could be *the year* for each one of us. This could be the year that we all come home… and *do* those things we know that the LORD has directed in His Holy Word.

2Timothy 3.14-17
“But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.”

Could this be the year of obedience—regardless of what others say or think or do?

Once again the Lord Jesus said: “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” —John 14.15

As we embark on another year, I pray that you would join me in seeking all the above — that you would join me in truly seeking to be an obedient woman, keeping the commandments of the Lord Jesus, following Him, delighting also in Him: earnestly seeking Him.

With love to you, In Jesus—pamela spurling

Reprint… originally written in 2000, revised 2006 Letters to my Sisters

Leave it to Levi Strauss & Co to be at the forefront…

Of some sort of trend or controversy or something… These are just some things I’ve been mulling over since seeing a Levi’s ad.

DockersPants

Do you s’pose this just might be a boon to the company — a marvelous marketing campaign that just might bolster sagging retail sales?

I appreciate the seeming change of heart at LS & Co — or the affirmation that men — hard working men — not social causes, have built their company. That, or someone in their ad department had a brilliant idea to market pants to — da ta da dahhhhhh — Men!

I remember fifteen years, or so, ago that Levi Strauss was on my personal “do-not-buy-retail” product list. That was for its stand on marriage and benefits to other than traditional marriage and later its stand on the Boy Scouts, et al. Well… I feel fairly certain that their overall corporate position on roles and gender blending/blundering and moral ambiguity, etc., etc., has not changed. And, for that matter, the company has more than likely attempted to keep a step ahead of metropolitan trends.

Not that Levi Strauss is, in the grand scheme of things, the end all be all, but as marketing goes, there will be others who join in the affirmation of God ordained uniqueness just as there will be those who mock the company relentlessly. Though you won’t hear about God or God’s marvelous design. You’ll hear something else — a message of the importance of being strong, perhaps of men who are dashing and debonair, mannerly and in style. Or something along that line. I think just like this country is bound to break under the strain of economic chaos, so also, men can’t stay on this feminized or, figuratively speaking, emasculated role to which domineering women have relegated them. Men were not created to be what many women are demanding them to be.

So, do you think men might finally take a stand against the lies that have been foisted on them and begin to see their incredible worth, their design and God given roles and responsibilities — as defenders, leaders, protectors, providers, endowed by the Lord to be heads of their homes and responsible for their families to be respectful and to guard women and children, etc., etc.?

Or will that happen when women embrace their unique and precious design and calling… and eagerly live it?

This is life…

At its very best.

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the value of a life, the influence of a life, the consequence of a life, the purpose of a life, and the final testimony of a life. As I have been studying for a Titus2 meeting I’ve been mulling over this month’s topic (from 2 Peter and the list of character qualities) and this month’s topic is charity. We know from 1 Corinthians 13 that without this — without charity, we are nothing.

So one of the questions that continues to be before me is this: what is my motivation for ________? (filling that space with whatever’s before me. I ask myself this question — and want to be more and more mindful of this question when I do this or that thing, think this or that thought, say this or that word — share this or that story. What is the motivation for doing this activity? Am I motivated by love or is it some other motivation? Is my action, word, thought, etc., motivated by love or selfish ambition? Love or personal gain? Love or retaliation? Love or fear? Love or manipulation? Love or deceit?

When I stop and ask myself this question or these questions, I am challenged to do what’s right… challenged to be honourable. When love is the motivation for doing, saying or thinking a particular thing, then I/we desire to do it, say it, think it as the Lord Jesus would have us to do it, say it, think it. This sort of bearing, believing, hoping all things sort of love is a strong motivator to be — and seek to become more — gracious.

So then, I have come to this conclusion:
This is life at its very best:
Graciously doing, at any given moment, what needs to be done..

From Webster’s 1828 Dictionary: GRA’CIOUS, a. [L. gratiosus.]

1. Favorable; kind; friendly; as,the envoy met with a gracious reception.

2. Favorable; kind; benevolent; merciful; disposed to forgive offenses and impart unmerited blessings.

Thou are a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful.
Nehemiah 9

3. Favorable; expressing kindness and favor.

All bore him witness, and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded from his mouth.
Luke 4

4. Proceeding from divine grace; as a person in a gracious state.

5. Acceptable; favored.

6. Renewed or implanted by grace; as gracious affections.

7. Virtuous; good.

8. Excellent; graceful; becoming.

the hard wooden chair

I have, on several recent occasions, had opportunity to feel the effects of sitting long on a hard wooden chair. And, I suppose, the more difficult part of sitting on that chair has been to sit there and quietly observe the conversation at the table. I’m not sure if I can sit there quietly bcz I have had increasing experience sitting there or if incredulity keeps me quiet. I know that a slack jaw keeps me quiet on a whole bunch of things — such as the sitting in stunned silence at the progression of the erosion of faith in the church.

So, the hard wooden chair…

I’ve sat listening to various arguments and comments extolling the virtues of a presidential candidate and the flaws and short comings of the other. I’ve listened to convictions, preconceptions and misconceptions and insinuations in discussions about qualifications, abilities, attributes, inexperience, successes, incompetency and a whole lot more concerning the various presidential candidates. I cannot count the number of times I listen and come to the exact opposite conclusion to the one sitting across the table. I shift on my chair… the firmness beneath me seems to increase and I wonder how long I will sit there quietly… quietly observing a conversation. Occasionally I muster courage to comment – occasionally I simply cannot refrain from a more lengthy observation.

Usually, though, it’s just plain easier to nod and smile — not in agreement — but as a form of self preservation. O, sure there’s tremendous temptation to fling out a few well articulated and carefully aimed zingers, cheeky comments or subtle innuendos. It’s easy for us as women to load up a comment, time it just right for maximum impact. I find I sit there, and think sort of Ann of Green Gables-ish: “… but if you only knew how many things I want to say and don’t…”

I sort of blog this way, too. But not always.

I’m working on a talk I’ll be giving at a monthly women’s meeting tomorrow night – I’m continuing on through Titus2 as ‘scheduled’ for the year. As I look out my window just now, I see our white picket fence with the little hearts cut out of each picket and then there’re the long lacy branches of the huge old weeping willow tree nearly touching the shadowy sunshine on the soft green grass… and I marvel and the timing or timeliness of this message I’m working on. The ‘why’ behind the mandate is what’s particularly thought provoking to me these days. The message this month is: “…to be keepers at home” and, as has been the motivating reason, I will, as I do each month, stress that the basis for living out this charge given to women is: “that the Word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2.5 See? Timely.

The Word is sometimes like a hard wooden chair. It’s so solid. You can stand on it.

The Coarsening of Women

My friend asked me today what I thought of the video that’s making the email circulation rounds quite a bit these days. It’s the ‘Women of Faith’ video of comedian, Anita Renfroe, and her song: Total Momsense – everything a mother says in one 24-hour period condensed into 2 minutes and 55 seconds and put to the music of The William Tell Overture — if you want to, you can click and watch (if you haven’t already seen it) here.

So… she asked me what I thought. I thought hmmmm.
She knows.
What do you think I thought of the mom so artistically sharing what ~~most~~ moms say in one 24 hour period? I’ve thought of that mom and the moms she represents – actually, many times, now. And I’m not so much referring to her or even to the other moms when I refer to the ‘song’ and all it contains. Actually, I heard myself in most of the lines she said. And, incidentally, I grimace to hear some of them again. I consider not so much what is said but what is heard and then interpreted by the hearers. Then, I consider the permission, of sorts, that’s inadvertently given to women to talk, in whatever manner they feel at the moment, to their children, based on the cool presentation and the affinity to, the laughs, reaction and camaraderie of this and other moms.

I thought: hmmmmmm.
So, hmmm. This morning I was listening to the news and got to thinking about the political climate and the slippery slope of the American culture and how much has eroded and, really, how foolish so much has become in the last 100 years of ‘progress.’

It grieved me to think of a woman being used as a political pawn – sickeningly and ironically, by “liberated” women, for the ‘advancement’ of women – dreadfully, it really doesn’t seem to matter a bit in regards to qualifications of personal achievements, wisdom and discernment, but simply because she’s a woman. How shameful to be used as a retaliatory game piece – to be made coarse – to be a pawn. It reminds me of another profession – selling the most precious gift in exchange for a piece of bread or whatever other thing is sought – and I truly have to believe feminists stand against that one!

I listened to the comments made by those who are supporting the female presidential candidate – I listened to some of her recent comments – I listened to irrational comments regarding the disparity or lack of fairness concerning the number of males running for president compared to the one female running for the office – further demonstrating the foolishness of “fairness.” As if they were ganging up on her. When men get into the ring to fight- it’s no place for a woman. O, for a voice of wisdom to speak to women and plead the cause of the beautiful and priceless gift of womanhood – the gift of femininity.

I thought of something my grandmother used to say: Remember, that while every lady is a woman, not every woman is a lady.

And then I think some more on friend’s email.

Total Momsense:

Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepy head
Here’s your clothes
And your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now
Get up and make your bed
Are you hot?
Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where’s your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
Don’t forget you got to feed the cat
Eat your breakfast
The experts tell us it’s the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at three today?
Don’t forget your piano lesson is this afternoon
So you must play
Don’t shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside
Don’t play rough
Would you just play fair?
Be polite
Make a friend
Don’t forget to share
Work it out
Wait your turn
Never take a dare
Get along
Don’t make me come down there
Clean your room
Fold your clothes
Put your stuff away
Make your bed
Do it now
Do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn?
Would you like some hay
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone
Get Off the phone
Don’t sit so close
Turn it down
No texting at the table
No more computer time tonight
Your iPod’s my iPod if you don’t listen up
Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you’re coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You’ll appreciate my wisdom
Someday when you’re older and you’re grown
Can’t wait ’til you have a couple little children of your own
You’ll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now
I thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew
Would appreciate
Take a bite
Maybe two
Of the stuff you hate
Use your fork
Do not you burp
Or I’ll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, Get the door
Don’t get smart with me
Get a Grip
Get in here I’ll count to 3
Get a job
Get a life
Get a PhD
Get a dose of…
I don’t care who started it
You’re grounded until your 36
Get your story straight
And tell the truth for once for heaven’s sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff
Would you jump too?
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said at least a thousand times before that
You’re too old to act this way
It must be your father’s DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straight when you walk
A place for everything
And everything must be in place
Stop crying or I’ll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Get your PJs on
Get in bed
Get a hug
Say a prayer with Mom
Don’t forget
I love you
**KISS**
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom’s work never ends
You don’t need the reason why
Because
Because
Because
Because
I said so
I said so
I said so
I said so
I’m the Mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
Ta-da

And then I think back on what I’ve heard today… and sigh at the coarsening of women.