Author: pamela

Intentional DeCluttering

Over the last month or so, living with less clutter, I’ve experienced some unintended benefits of my intentional decluttering project. Not the least of which has been ease of housekeeping and/or ease of moving from one daily activity to another with very little preparation or tidying. Having been the mother of many children for decades, home organization has been paramount. But even with all my planning and organizing, I still had clutter.

In this process of decluttering over the last couple of months, I’ve mulled over some of the “clutter factors” and how they came to be. One of the reasons, which I discovered quite by accident, was that I’ve had a “country farmhouse” decor for the last thirty five years or so. And, while I’ve loved all the decorations – baskets, candles, bears and geese and whatever else was showing up in my Country Woman, Taste of Home, or other related magazines, they’d become clutter. Cute stuff. Everywhere, cute stuff. When I gave away some books and stacks of magazines, it dawned on me, I no longer have the longing to accumulate and decorate in that way and magazines showing me all my favourite things weren’t necessary to keep anymore– I clipped my favourite pictures to keep for memorabilia. While some country farmhouse decor remains, the time had come to move on from there. And the more I moved on, the easier it was to keep moving on.

Another reason for a good deal of the clutter has been the shear number of people in our home and the volume of furniture, bedding, possessions, clothing & shoes, jackets, purses, backpacks, toys, hobbies, etc. Homeschooling eleven children has necessitated the gathering of all sorts of books, materials, equipment, supplies, etc., for all the studies and projects. Seasons change and I needed settle into this next season.

But, as I mentioned in my last post (Tidying. You’re Still You), I’m still me, I’m exceedingly sentimental, we still live in a farmhouse, because we’re a big family, big things regularly happen. So, I’ve kept things to accommodate our life/family. But! There’s a place for everything and everything’s in its place.

That’s where the intentional part of this decluttering project comes in. What I’ve learned is that it was good to have a clear plan and be willing to work until the plan was complete. As I wrote earlier, it took weeks. For the sake of brevity, I’ll share a part of the plan. I decided to get rid of the large oak corner desk and shelves of our school/craft room. There were dozens of bins, towers of plastic drawers, plastic shoe boxes, and the myriad of supplies each contained. The next, and parallel part of the plan, was to set up a craft and sewing room upstairs. This is a luxury that was never an option prior to this season. Now that most all our kids are married and have homes and families of their own, we had an ’empty room’.

Intentional decluttering requires ♥ having a plan for freed up space and how/where the new set-up will look and function.
Intentional decluttering also requires ♥ thinking of, and planning for, the immediate disposal, give-away, etc., etc., of no longer needed/wanted items.
Intentional decluttering also requires ♥ the resolve to stay with the plan until it’s complete.
Intentional decluttering means ♥ keeping an eye on the prize: a peaceful home.
Intentional decluttering means ♥ intentionally maintaining the new way of living/thinking.

As I sorted every single thing, I immediately took things upstairs to their landing spots. I set up the room and filled the spaces as I intended. It became easier with each passing day — one area was getting all cleaned up and another all set up. I also immediately took boxes of giveaways out to my car, furniture out to the porch, bags of trash to the bins. Each activity fueled the completion of the project(s).

Finally, I’ve allowed this intentional decluttering to flow into other areas of our home and my life. Eliminating and concentrating in other areas, drawers, cabinets, etc., etc. And then, going back over and over again to eliminate and concentrate further. Honestly, it’s been a very encouraging process to a peaceful home. There’s no ‘clutter police’ so the process can just continue to evolve over time and the simplicity will continue to be refreshing as time allows for projects to be undertaken. I recognize it will take practiced “intentionality” to maintain this peaceful home.

Tidying. You’re Still You.

The problem with attempting to make dramatic changes, or to carry out new resolutions, or most anything, really, is that we’re still the same people with the same proclivities, habits, personal styles, bents. The tidying, or in my case, the project of eliminating clutter, only lasts as long as the determination/work/project continues. No matter where you are in the project of eliminating clutter or tidying, you’re still you.

You’re still you. I’ve had to repeat this to myself many times in the last couple of weeks as I see myself “dropping my guard” on eliminating clutter. Just recognizing this has been inspiring. And I’ve remembered a couple of old adages: It didn’t get this way over night and its not going to go away over night, and: Anything worth doing is worth doing well.

As the weeks pass, and still maintaining the mindset of working to eliminate clutter and possessions, I’m sure seeing that no matter where I am in this process: I’m still me and this is a process, not a race. No one’s keeping score and there’s not an arbitrary finish line. I understood this when I made the decision to not sort and eliminate the boxes of mementos and memorabilia. But I still seem to operate as if there’s a score being kept or a standard not yet met.

An important revelation for me was to realize that I didn’t need to try and be someone else. I’m still me and am just fine being me. I’ve spent over forty years being a wife and mother to eleven children and have had decades of learning how to arrange, make space and organize things. I really don’t want to start over and do things differently–I won’t be able to maintain that persona, know what I mean? I don’t need new methods, I need to apply what I already know! This is freedom!! I hope if you’re on this track, you’ll see your freedom, too!

I watched a few episodes of the Netflix reality series Tidying Up. I mentioned in a previous post that I stopped watching after a few episodes bcz I didn’t need/want to learn new ways of storing things or folding clothes,— that, and I couldn’t get into living other people’s clutter drama. I also didn’t need a new mindset concerning possessions. I bristled at the thought of thanking items before setting them in the discard box. As I mentioned in a previous post, I had already taken to thanking the Lord for His provision and the use I had for the items I discarded (and I even sought forgiveness for the carelessness I’d exhibited for the several items I bought but never used). But even as I “fast-forwarded” through the shows, what I saw inspired me to stay my course and keep eliminating and organizing my “new normal.”

I already know how sort, clean, and organize things well and I already have an ample supply of plastic bins, containers, and drawers. I like the way I fold things, I like to order and arrange things. I know the flow of our home, and have learned by trial and error where things go best. I like the ways we use space in this old farmhouse. All that to maybe inspire you to take a look at your life and recognize your strengths and abilities, too.

In all this clutter elimination and tidying, I’m still me – with all my abilities, successes, failures, quirks and flaws.

And if you’re in the process, remember this: you’re still you! If you’ve got tidying to do (or like me, have the arduous task of a massive elimination of items!), keep in mind: if you won’t use it, no longer need it, want it, like it: Let it go! Thank the Lord for His provisions, repent if that’s in order, muster up the strength to do what you can/must for the day, tidy up your house and live a joyful, clutter-free, ordered life.


Clutter is Relative

There’s a saying, One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. I kept this in mind from time to time as I proceeded through my month-long activity of eliminating clutter in our home. I also had in mind a couple of other thoughts that sort of guided my process: I’m doing this for me and our family and clutter is relative! After an initial confrontation, I purposely blocked out a couple of thoughts: cost/origin of the item and other’s opinions/style. I kept in mind the goal of eliminating clutter, living in our new normal, gratitude for the past activities/needs/possessions, and keeping home home.

Guilt was the first giant I had to slay tackle. I didn’t realize how big this was! I felt very guilty (and have many times through the years) for getting rid of items that were no longer useful, no longer fit, or just weren’t right. (This is, in part, where my clutter is relative thought comes from.) Guilt was a giant for me. After a mental confrontation, a freeing thought came along — and it was in the form of a prayer of sorts. I said, Lord, thank You for this_____, for what it cost, how it’s been used and what was accomplished here. I would repeat that ‘prayer’ many times as items went out the back door. The giant, guilt, is a formidable foe, but must be seen for what it is. And the more I faced it, the easier it was to say: I no longer need this, use this, want this, or like this ITEM! Yes, there was a bit of regret, but no guilt, no shame in that.

I did have regrets — some regret that I hadn’t used items I’d bought — regret that they had become either obsolete, irrelevant to the next season or I never learned to incorporate them into our family activities/schooling/etc. All that, or I never even liked them. Other regrets were the time or money spent on items. To those regrets I answered with repentant thanksgiving — thanksgiving and reality. I’m thankful we had this or that item, yes, it cost a lot for us, but now it’s no longer needed, no longer necessary. And won’t be in the future. Whatever happened before this day must be a guide for my future purchases and acquisitions. Instruction gained: Do I need it? Will it be useful? Do I really like it? Am I doing this for someone else/some other reason?

This is where the clutter is relative thought kept coming to mind. I got rid of so much clutter, I reorganized/eliminated so many items, shelves, drawers, cabinets, etc. But our home didn’t even begin to start looking like a hotel room or an airB&B with few/no mementos or personalized style. My style did not become minimalist — even though there are areas with minimal items — there are areas that appear unretouched. On purpose. But! The clutter (for me!) is eliminated. An aside: I kept to a decorating standard – I reduced items on a table or shelf to groupings of three. Aesthetically, it is pleasing to me and curbs my (seemingly insatiable) need to fill space.

One more thought today… I came to a realization that there are a couple of areas I’m not going to address right now. Weeks ago, in the big closet reorg, I pulled out several large boxes of cards, letters, memorabilia… all over the floor, I began sorting. And then I decided: I’m not going to be bound by a set of arbitrary rules to go through every single space and eliminate every single thing I’m not using. I’m not ready to decide that quite yet. So, I put everything back in the boxes and neatly stacked them. When I look at them now, they aren’t clutter to me, they’re things I know I’ve loved a long time and have purposely decided I’ll go through them again another day. They’re not clutter – this is us, this isn’t someone else’s home, yes, I may die before I get to some of these other things, but for now I don’t have a specific timeline, there aren’t rules of clutter-engagement. One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure. These are treasures to me. That, and clutter is relative.

Open Space

One of the challenges I’ve been experiencing as I have been going through closets, cupboards, and drawers specifically — and rooms, in general is newly exposed space: open space! If you’re either a Queen Of Quite A Lot or a Saver Of Quite A Lot, you just might find yourself in a quandary. No, not the first day, not the second day, but a couple of weeks after you uncover OPEN SPACE in your home, your natural tendency will be to FILL it! Fill it back up. Quickly.

Don’t do it. Resist the urge to fill space. Now, I know this advice is probably only applicable to Savers Of Quite A Lot. I know women who do not struggle with this {I know, right?!?!} — open space is natural for them. To them, minimalism is natural or intentional. But it’s not for me. I seem to like to fill space. I fill space wherever I find it. In my home, my closets and drawers, conversations and dinner plates.

In the past weeks I’ve uncovered a lot of open space — it’s been as much a a whole shelf, a whole basket or simply a few inches between items instead of every item touching another on a shelf or in a drawer. It’s seems to me that I’ve been uncomfortable with open space previous to this massive project of eliminating clutter in our home. If there’s ever been a space, I’ve quickly filled it–cluttered it all up nice and tight. To be fair, many times “highly filled and tightly spaced” has been more a matter of necessity than preference. Eleven children = highly filled and tightly spaced farmhouse living.

Open space is refreshing. Really, I just said it! And meant to! It’s been refreshing to have space in my pantry to arrange the food items and see them all well, space between hangers in my closet, and so on. I got rid of a very large oak corner desk that’s been the family hub — just removing the piece of furniture alone created open space! Eliminating about half of my very, very ample supply of crafting, sewing, fabrics, and art supplies created open space. For minimalists, I still do not truly have open space — but for me! I have much open space. There are still areas that are full – but they are extremely organized in containers/drawers and shelves and for me, it’s spacious! In an upstairs storage closet, I have quite a few *empty* plastic bins, baskets and boxes. This is amazing to me! Open space!

My latest mantra has been: Now that I’ve gotten everything all tidied up, pretty quick, I’m going to start getting serious about this elimination of clutter!! ~smile~ After all, I didn’t quit being myself: A Saver of Quite a Lot!

Eliminating Clutter

Clutter, clutter everywhere and not enough places to put it. That’s how the beginning of this year felt to me. Clutter of things, clutter of thoughts, clutter of concerns. I didn’t know what I needed to do, initially, but I knew I needed to get busy.

I process things either verbally, by writing or by cleaning. So, it really stands to reason that my resolve to clean out the clutter was really a resolve to clean up some other areas of my life, too. I didn’t start with an exact plan or schedule beyond the decision to eliminate clutter, but the first decision or first item I decided to eliminate set in motion the work of the next 30 days.

That first decision was to eliminate the large oak computer desk in our kitchen/family room. It has been the gathering place for the last 20 years–not only of people, but of things! So many things. It’s been the writing, crafting, schooling, and catch-all area. Since most of our eleven children are grown and have homes of their own, life as we’ve known it for so long has changed dramatically. We don’t need that sort of ‘center’ anymore. Having an ’empty’ bedroom is also a first time occurrence in our home — this made for a perfect opportunity to go through all my sewing, crafting, cardmaking, wrapping, and writing supplies and set them all up in one place–one room.

As I went through every item, the more I tossed out or put in the ‘giveaway’ boxes, the more I was able to toss out or give away. When either was full, I took it out to the trash bin or put it in the back of my car. Out of sight, out of mind. Day after day I repeated the process from room to room throughout our home. It was really a freeing experience for this queen-of-quite-a-lot!! Every item became a question: Do I even want this? Do I even like this? Will I ever use this ever again?

Somewhere in the midst of the process, one of my daughters asked me if I’d heard of Marie Kondo. No, I told her — to which she replied I must watch her programs. So, I did — I watched a few. And you know what? I was already on my way, I didn’t know about the KonMari method, but I was already in the process of “Kondo-ing” our home!

I found that I was saying, do I love this? Do I even want this? And after watching Marie Kondo’s continual asking does this spark joy? I realized I was on that great track and all my years of cleaning, folding, organizing items, containerizing things, scheduling chores, events, and meals for a large family had prepared me for my huge task of eliminating no longer used or no longer useful-to-me things and reorganizing our home. I was finding joy again.

I’m not all finished yet as I now need to go back and refine some sorting, get a little more ruthless about some items. But the freedom has sure been inspiring. There’s freedom also is discovering I really didn’t need to watch more programs, learn more tricks, get more containers… I already had what I needed – I just needed to put it all in action! That was so freeing! And energizing. And joyful.

Why I Write

 [cp_dropcaps]B[/cp_dropcaps]rowsing Twitter this morning, I noticed the hashtag #WhyIWrite and I decided to click on the link to read why others write.  Not surprising, the answers or reasons are very similar—very familiar, albeit with an occasional condescending comment.  It’s the occasional condescension that trips me up from time to time, but over time I’m learning to not take negative opinions so seriously (and I sure hope those twitter writers weren’t derailed by some of the rude comments).  Insults, along with self-doubt, really have an effect on creativity, so it’s been instructive to me to weigh negative comments carefully, glean what I can and literally ignore the rest.  Sometimes, insults can be instructive: they help me refine my message, they help me see what I might be blind to and surely to see what I don’t want to be, and they help me clarify or to attempt to more carefully articulate my thoughts.

[cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]Words in my head every day,
all day long.[/cp_quote]So why do I write? Words. Words in my head every day, all day long. I write because of what the Lord has done for me in all I’ve seen and done in my life.  I write because He’s lavished blessings on me (especially in hard days, the deep blessings I couldn’t see at the time!).  I write because of His great and precious promises—His unfailing kindness and mercy every day of my life. I write because in all these ways the Lord has given me the gift of words to encourage, instruct, inspire, comfort and/or affirm others.  It may well be to a very small or limited number of people, but my goals or purposes have never been dependent on the number of readers or listeners–only with the hope that they would minister to those who do. Incidentally, most all my daily writing is never seen by anyone but me—dozens of journals bear this out.

You know… I think most everyone could, should, would write if they recognize the great gift and value of their life—or if they realized that their unique experiences could help someone. Maybe many someone’s.

I began writing newsletters in high school, first as the activities commissioner and then as student council president. From there I wrote the newsletter for a day school and childcare center in Seattle. In those days we used a mimeograph machine using spirit masters and a manual typewriter.  It was a banner day when we bought our IBM Correcting Selectric II typewriter (If you’ve never used/seen one, they’re pretty cool!!).  Eventually, those were replaced by various computers and, in time, I wrote church newsletters and Bible studies for women which led to the privilege of speaking at women’s retreats and seminars.  All of this was just prior to creating the website that ‘launched’ this blog in the late 90’s. This progression of writing projects also included stamping and lettering… and occasionally, my antique Underwood typewriter.

I share all this to hopefully inspire *you* to write… using whatever you have on hand, whatever your experience, whatever your ‘platform,’ to encourage others, to be used of the Lord to bless and relate to others.
In the end, I hope you’ll enjoy the journey, writing it down as you go.

When You Know What God’s Called You To

When you know what God’s called you to, you’ll seek it, you’ll endeavor to walk in Truth, it will be your joy to be called by His name, His great name.

Thanks for joining me for morning coffee ☕
Blessings to you all as you seek to follow what God’s called you to.

When we fail to seek the Lord, to embrace the truths we know, the great and precious promises in God’s Word, and the convictions we hold, we can easily be deceived by smooth speech, pretty lures, and popular trends.

We read in the Word the importance waiting daily at the gates of the Lord: “Blessed is the man that heareth me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors.” —Proverbs 8.34
And why would we do this—why should we do this?  Because the days are evil, the days are filled with deceptions, traps, lures.  Look around you, everywhere: traps — sights, sounds, enticements and distractions that would lead us astray if/when we yield to them.

[cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]Blessed is the man that heareth me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors.[/cp_quote]When you know what God’s called you to, you’ve got to then determine to guard whatever that is.  You and I must be vigilant to watch for the snares that would entrap us.  Most all sin begins with a deception–sometimes so seemingly inconsequential, it’s easily dismissed.  By nature, we want to dismiss sin, and when we’re not walking in the Spirit, we’ll most assuredly be blindsided by the entrapments of sin. If we’re not daily at His gates, abiding in Him, obeying His commands, listening for His promptings, we’ll be prone to entertaining {maybe even personally adopting} deception.

Sometimes we don’t recognize the trap until we’re entrenched in it.  Smooth speech, in particular, is but one trap.  Think of books, articles, seminars, conferences you may have read or attended.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the emotional excitement of the moment, to get tangled up in love for the captivating or entertaining messenger—so much so, that Biblical inaccuracies of the messages may be overlooked.  Think of popular Christian women making the circuits today. It might be uncomfortable to stand against the rolling tide, but it’s not that difficult to see deviations from Scripture–though perhaps they’re subtle.  Over time, if left unchecked, the deviations might be excused because the messenger is so popular (Luke 6.26), believable, and adored by Christian masses {maybe even our own dear girlfriends—or ourselves!}.

Often, when we see error, we don’t want to be the girl that rocks the boat. But, surely, when we see the girls running to that side of the boat, and we see that it might result in capsizing, we must dare to be that girl to right the ship—to warn the passengers leaning over the edge!  We must endeavor to speak the truth in love. With tact. When you know what God’s called you to, you seek to live it.

When we quiet a caution or silence an alarm, we tend to deafen our ears to hearing, dull our consciences listening to the still small Voice, and quiet promptings of the Holy Spirit.  When we repeatedly allow this to happen, we become silly women. Those promptings—those great and precious promises we have known—begin to be scattered in the path behind us —opening us to error, heresy, and to embracing the deception of the pretty lures as we begin to accept another gospel—another way—ever learning but never discerning the folly. It may begin with just a small step off the path, but down the way a bit, the path is nowhere to be seen.

“For of this sort are they which creep into houses,
and lead captive silly women laden with sins,
led away with divers lusts, ever learning
but never able to come
to the knowledge of the truth.”
—2Timothy 3.6-7

So, those things God’s called you to?  Take in the Word today. Seek it, study it, pray about it. “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”  2T 2.15
When you know what God’s called you to, you’ll seek it,  you’ll endeavor to walk in Truth, it will be your joy to be called by His name, His great name.

“Thy words were found, and I did eat them;
and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart:
for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts.”
—Jeremiah 15.16

 

Autumn Days

The lazy, hazy days of summer are giving way to the busy, hurry, scurry days of autumn as the new “school year” begins and demanding schedules and activities fill the calendar.  You know the first thing that comes to mind as I consider these upcoming autumn days? Where’d summer go? It came and went so fast.  Sort of like motherhood (but that’s another topic for another day).

Did you complete the plans and projects you had for summertime?  Me neither.  But there’s still time to get a few things done before the time comes to put away all the outdoor equipment, furnishings, plants, etc.  I’m just writing to encourage you (and myself!) to make use of the few sunny days remaining in this season.   I’m determined to attempt to preserve some of the plants and hanging baskets by bringing them in to the greenhouse before the chilly weather and to finish up some minor outdoor painting and cleanup that I’ve put off all summer.

To help me with these projects I’ve started a new Gardener’s Journal  (I’ll include some notes and pages from old calendars and journals).  I decided to do this bcz I’ve noticed that I’ve forgotten when/where some things were/are planted (both plants and bulbs) and what needs to be divided and replanted and I want to have a record of these, a diagram of my rose gardens (with the specific name & location of each rosebush) plus a place to keep future ideas/plans.

I hope you’re all doing well! God bless you, keep and guide you. ♥

Regard Not Your Stuff

And so, I encourage you to rest in the Lord… fret not over what God’s doing in your life or where He’ll call you to go or what He’ll call you to do. Regard not your stuff. No matter how things seem to you to be today: God cares for you, the Holy Spirit is ever making intercession for you. The LORD Jesus has taken care of everything that concerns you. God says He will be found by you when you call upon His name.

On my mind lately is the paradox how much I regard my stuff and how much I know this truth: Regard not your stuff!   It’s a common thing, isn’t it—to fret or to fear or to regard our stuff?  We sometimes fear what God might ask of us.  We fear He just may send us to Africa (gasp!) or some other place we know we do not want to go; we fear He may ask us to (gasp!) Homeschool, or to (gasp!) submit to our own husband, have a home business or do things we’ve never done or, never (gasp!) wanted to do.  We may actually have several “never’s” on our list.

We may think not so much of where we’re going or what we’re going to do as what we’ll necessarily have to leave behind.  Consider Joseph:
Genesis 45.17-21
And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, Say unto thy brethren, This do ye; lade your beasts, and go, get you unto the land of Canaan;  And take your father and your households, and come unto me: and I will give you the good of the land of Egypt, and ye shall eat the fat of the land.  Now thou art commanded, this do ye; take you wagons out of the land of Egypt for your little ones, and for your wives, and bring your father, and come.  Also regard not your stuff; for the good of all the land of Egypt is yours.  And the children of Israel did so: and Joseph gave them wagons, according to the commandment of Pharaoh, and gave them provision for the way.

Did you catch a few morsels of truth in that passage?  God uses situations — whomever, whatever and however He wants — for His purposes.  God used Pharaoh to accomplish His purposes and He will use men and women in our lives, situations we face: mission fields or businesses or ministries He’s given us: to accomplish His plans for us.   As wives and mothers, we might not immediately see how He’s using us—it might be years down the road when we get a glimpse of how He’s used/using us.  Note what Pharaoh said – and I think what God says to us in verse 20:  “Also regard not your stuff; for the good of all the land of Egypt is yours.” 

Regard not your stuff.  But we do regard our stuff, don’t we?!  We think on our stuff, plan for our stuff, guard our stuff and probably often covet even more stuff.   But when God has a plan and that plan calls for action, I think one of the most important decisions we need to make is the decision to NOT regard our stuff.

You know what that “stuff” is in Genesis?  It’s the sort of stuff we have in our lives today.  Strong’s identifies it like this:  from 3615; something prepared, i.e. any apparatus (as an implement, utensil, dress, vessel or weapon):–armour ((-bearer)), artillery, bag, carriage, + furnish, furniture, instrument, jewel, that is made of, X one from another, that which pertaineth, pot, + psaltery, sack, stuff, thing, tool, vessel, ware, weapon, + whatsoever.

Read those words again… you’ll get a better picture of the stuff God doesn’t want you to regard when He places a call for you to do something.  And the next time God asks something of you and you’re tempted to say no or to doubt the plan or God’s design for the next season, regard not your stuff… your  clothes, purses, 15 passenger carriage or your sports car, your furniture, the stuff in your kitchen, the jewels, pictures, the scrapbooks, the plans, the quilts — hopefully, this little message will come back to your remembrance: regard not your stuff.

Maybe God’s calling you to give Him Lordship of your womb and you might fear you can’t handle what He might bring.  Maybe you feel like you cannot take care of many children, or that the needs will be too great.  Maybe you are too highly regarding your husband, his life, health, job, finances, companionship — maybe all of those things prevent you from fully trusting the Lord—that it is Him—the Lord—who provides for you, protects you, comforts you, guides you.  I know I’ve put my husband in the place of the Lord so many times — feeling quite sure I’ll never survive were he to die before me.  Most times, the stuff we’re “regarding” are things we cannot control or are things we fear—things we cannot see.

See? We all have stuff we regard.  God knows all this.  God knows what you’ve got, what you like, what you need, what you think you need and on and on.  God knows it all.  But you know what?  Most important is: that God knows what you really need and He’s already made provision for it.  We, you and I, need to accept His call, accept will, and not regard our stuff so much that we miss it:  God’s marvelous plans. Or, worse, that we reject His marvelous plans.

Remember:  “… regard not your stuff; for the good of all the land of Egypt is yours.”  I think the LORD has this note in Scripture for our good — it’s a reminder to us that we needn’t worry about what we might have to leave behind because He already has a plan for us.  And it is good. And it is for our good!

You know a couple of very familiar passages: Romans 8.28 and Jeremiah 29.11.  Have you thought on them in awhile?   I’d like to say that those two verses, in particular, are very helpful, but I’d like to suggest reading the passages that contain those two verses for tremendous encouragement and blessing.  Here they are in part:

Romans 8.26-28

26  Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
 27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

I have more assurance of this than I’ve ever had as I edited this post today. Trials and triumphs, sorrow and tears, joys and delights have taught me so much in the 11 years since I initially wrote much of what’s written here today.  And so, I encourage you to rest in the Lord… fret not over what God’s doing in your life or where He’ll call you to go or what He’ll call you to do.  Regard not your stuff.  No matter how things seem to you to be today: God cares for you, the Holy Spirit is ever making intercession for you.  The LORD Jesus has taken care of everything that concerns you.  God says He will be found by you when you call upon His name.

the suicide option

rosecolouredglassesThrough our lives we have experiences that are etched on our hearts and minds — experiences that shape our thinking, shape our reactions, shape our responses, shape our decisions — maybe even shape our initial theology or lack thereof.  If these etchings were recorded on 3×5 cards, in time we’d have quite a card file full, wouldn’t we?  Events and experiences, lessons and influences all recorded on cards make up our individual card catalogs.  It’s interesting to me, every now and then, to come across a card I realize has had a profound impact on my life and thinking.  One of the greatest regrets I have from a young age is collecting a couple of influence cards I wish I’d never acquired.  On the cards are written: the suicide option.  I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently…  deaths of friends and loved ones, news headlines trigger memories… the file drawer opens… the influence cards tumble out.

I was a second grader when my mother got the call that her father had died. A strange disconnect defines that event.  On the one hand, I heard that he never looked better and on the other hand, I saw my grandmother weeping over her loss.  So young I was, so innocent regarding the trials and tragedies that befall people in life — at that point, unaware of what would later be the personal impact of my granddaddy’s death.  When my  mother returned from Texas after his funeral, she gave me one of the few things she brought from his home — a little tin box decorated with flowers containing my granddaddy’s sewing kit and also a package of “moth balls” — not chemical mothballs used in storage containers, but candy… small balls of sweet, nutty deliciousness.

Through the years stories pieced together framed the mental picture of what really happened with my grandfather;  he was an alcoholic who’d come to the end of his options and resources and succumbed to the enticing lie that death was the only way out. On one of the cards in my mental card file is recorded that in a closed garage, carbon monoxide from a car’s exhaust system is a suicide method.   Little more than three years later my mother’s brother would add another suicide option card to my card file. It was August… I was eleven when that card was added.

I’m amazed, through the years, how many times those cards have made their way into my hands… how many times I’ve turned them over in my hands, carried them around, and for a time mulled them over.  Stunned from time to time that I could possibly take those cards out and look at them as options and ever for a moment consider listening to the lies of the devil that my life’s a waste or that everyone would be better off without me or whatever the devil’s lie du jour is.  By the grace of God that’s all… but by the grace of God… I am carried through that darkness.

Throughout time, the devil has been capitalizing on twisting variations of the same lie.  The lie always includes a form of death… death of self, death of relationships, death of purity or innocence, death of faith,  etc.  In the beginning, in subtlety and condescension, taking advantage of her innocent reasoning,  satan challenged God and enticed Eve, saying: …you shall not surely die.  And throughout history he’s played with the emotions of despairing and desperate individuals to persuade them one way or another, but the end is the same: death.  From the beginning, the devil’s been twisting the truth on death.

Like his father before him, I’m sure my uncle felt much the same desperation that hot August day.  He’d run out of options and resources and probably reasoned there’d never be an end to his financial losses and never a solution to his mounting obligations. No amount of reasoning could restore confidences that the financial gains and successes he’d previously enjoyed in life could possibly  be rebuilt or that the losses could be overcome.  Another method was recorded that day — if his life was a mess, his death was more so.  I feel sick every time I hear that song’s refrain: he put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger.  I hate that song.  It’s no lullaby.

The devil’s a master of all or nothing — that whatever’s happening today will be happening forever — the all or nothing that things will always be this way, nothing’s ever going to be any different or any better than it is today — thus, there’s just one solution: death.  Problem is, the devil never gives any warnings about what else really happens when he tempts (or succeeds) with that suicide option.  It’s not a solution—it’s an amplified problem but the despairing one is gone and never sees the enormous ripple of the suicide rock hitting the pond.  Is it desperation that fuels depression or is it depression that fuels desperation?   Eternity will sort this out;  whatever the case, both block out reason — both are blinding.  Both fall into the abyss of great darkness.  And the devil loves darkness — and loves to shroud us in darkness at every turn because his deeds are only evil continually.

His playbook is thin — satan doesn’t need many tricks.  The same traps and tricks have been working for him since he first beguiled Eve and all the others since… the lies he tells you and me… the lies he’s perpetuated from that day to this come from his little playbook. Hath God said?

You’ll be better off.  It’s your life.  You’re not hurting anyone.  They’ll be better off without you.  This is the only way.  You always do this.  You’ll never change.  Life is only misery, you’ll be in a better place and on and on.  His methods have not changed — his motive has not changed — he hates God and God’s glorious creation and will stop at nothing in his pursuit to steal, kill and destroy life, faith and hope in God — ultimately to persuade individuals to take their eyes off God.  But remember this:  he’s a defeated foe — a lion with no teeth, a roar with no power.  In the end, his challenge is not with you — you’re just a pawn to him.  His challenge is with God.   Remember that: he hates God and doesn’t care a thing about you.

quote…He [the devil] was a murderer from the beginning,
and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie,
he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.”
john 8.44

If life’s dealt you a suicide option card… remember that it was an option someone else took.  It doesn’t mean it is your option.  You ought to  talk it over and get your mind set on Truth.  Guard your mind, guard your idle thoughts.  Remember, your adversary, the devil, is a thief.  Get  acquainted with, and very familiar with, the Truth.  Know the Truth that the Truth will set you free.  Remember that Jesus said, “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”  In Jesus is life.  Abundant life.  He also said, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in Me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (John 10.10 / 16.33)

May the Lord be your peace and comfort if you’re hurting over losses today.  May the Lord be your strength and salvation and source of joy.

[I originally wrote and published this article 8.12.2014]