Family – Page 14 – The Welcome Home

It’s not too late.

I’m still mulling over and basking in the blessing of the time spent at the Christian Heritage conference this past weekend. I need to take time to review my notes to keep them fresh in my mind and to make application and incorporate the things I noted to apply in our own lives/home. As the speakers said at different times, the things they were teaching or the things we were hearing were not new and were not “original” with them. I agreed… and it’s generally that way: the things we hear at conferences or even in sermons are generally not “new things” but are old things-old truths — framed in a new way or worded in a new way—not distorting the truth or original meaning, but simply amplifying the truth.

I attempted to take copious notes and actually went through a pen full of ink to do so—not bragging, just attempting to convey the volume of note taking. I wanted to post this week some of the thoughts or quotes that were particularly noteworthy and so, here’s one:

Don’t renege on your
opportunity to disciple your children.”
—Voddie Baucham

So I think on that… and I consider our home, our children, our life. I think of the hundreds of letters I have received at A Christian Home.

Many of us promised before God at the birth of our child(ren) that we would do everything possible to train them up in the fear and admonition of the LORD. We vowed to be faithful to train them, we intended to be the best parents possible, to not make the same mistakes our parents had made or that we, ourselves, had made. And then… well, then, for many of us, life happened and little encroachments happened, little foxes came in and spoiled the vine and we got busy and time passed and days became years that we failed to train up our children in the fear of the LORD and we forgot to remember what we thought we’d never forget to remember and never fail to do.

And you know what? The enemy would have you and me to believe that that’s just too bad. That it’s just too late… too much failure, too many mistakes, too much water has flowed under the bridge of good intentions. But wait. Is that what God would say? Is that the voice of the LORD who ever lives to make intercession for us? No. No, it’s not too late and no one is too far from the LORD and the LORD’s arm is not shortened that it cannot save — not at nine, not at nineteen, not at thirty nine, not at sixty nine and not at ninety nine. The arm of the LORD is not shortened that it cannot save. HE is the redeemer. He IS the redeemer. He is the REDEEMER.

It is not too late to do what the LORD has called and planned for us to do. It’s not.

blessings

There is immeasurable value in seizing great opportunities and making significant sacrifices on behalf of our families. These sacrifices might include, time, money, missing other good things, discomfort, inconvenience, etc., etc. But, through the years we, as a couple and as a family, have seen the greatest blessings come from great sacrifice of any one or all of the sacrifices listed above.

I think we often underestimate the value of hearing great teaching and, perhaps, we overestimate the retention of things we’ve heard or think we remember from past teaching (especially when we’ve heard and agreed with great teaching but never bothered to apply it). For example, one might say: “I’ve already read that stuff.” Another might say,”I’m getting too old and that sort of teaching or that sort of conference really isn’t applicable to me at my stage or phase of life.” Still another might say, “Been there; done that.” O, may we never become so egocentric or so complacent that we’re satisfied with our experience enough to reject future opportunities with: “been there; done that” mentality. That mentality is selfish and dead-end. But our lives are so not dead-end. We mustn’t let the world creep in and destroy or distort that message and the world is creeping in—so much so, it’s creepy.

For example… what if I said and lived the “been there; done that” in mothering or motherhood? Would I be living according to the Word? Where’s the Titus2 message in the “been there; done that” mentality or way of living. It’s not. No Titus2 message there. But that’s the world’s message, it’s the world’s mentality, isn’t it? Once you’ve been there, once you’ve done that, your done. I’m seeing now, it’s only the beginning! It’s not over!I have to guard against that humanistic tendency—that self-centered view or the “been there; done that” mentality. I must guard against the “I already did all that stuff or heard all that stuff” sort of thinking—and believing.

O, more and more I see the tremendous value in sitting down and listening to men and women who open the Word of God and teach – teach the Word of God. We’re reticent to spend time in study or spend time in the Word but so readily open the Times newspaper or People mag or other tales and fables, but it is in The Bible we read from God’s perspective: man’s position, proper aim and end and God’s plan and design for all three.

So… we were at the Christian Heritage conference this past weekend… and my-o-my, what a blessing. What a blessing to spend time with believers seeking to train up children in the ways of the LORD by homeschooling instead of relinquishing children to the care and training of government schools. O, what a blessing to see all the young(!) families training up faithful sons and daughters. I smiled as I watched them soaking in all the teaching and I prayed that they would stay on the path and not dabble in the things that derail families and destroy convictions. And, what a sweet blessing to meet men and women I’ve only talked with on the phone or corresponded by email… and to see old friends. And I do mean old. ~smile~

I must say, the messages of truth and purpose of parenting/homeschooling as presented by Voddie Baucham were, undoubtedly, among the greatest I have ever heard. And I do not say this boastfully, but we have had privilege through the years to see, hear or read some incredibly gifted and powerful teachers and teaching—but the impact of his life, training, and understanding was tremendous. I’ll be sharing a few of the notes and quotes in the days ahead.Incidentally, I was also so very blessed to finally meet Stacy McDonald as I have talked to her by telephone and chatted by mail numerous times throughout the last 8 years, but, as yet, never had opportunity to meet face to face nor to hear her presentations -all of which were very encouraging. It’s easy to feel like a lone voice in the “christian world” today on matters of home, modesty, feminine dress, homeschooling, design of marriage and family… but contrary to what the enemy would like us to believe, we’re are, indeed, not alone and these truths neither fall on deaf ears nor are spoken by the lone few.

So: Homeschool!
Home’s cool. It’s where it’s at. It always has been.

More later…

I stayed up a bit too late last night corresponding with Kathryn, sending out her letters and reading through more notes.
I need to go… I am the mother.
I need to live it. And I am glad.

Kathryn’s Letters

Another note of celebrating this son

Samuel’s favourite hymn is: O Love that wilt not let me go. I smiled through tears just now as I listened to him play that hymn on the piano. He occasionally reads music, the rest of the time it just flows… and beautifully, I might add.

Here are the words to that hymn. See Cyberhymnal to read more about it and to listen to the tune–it’s lovely.

O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

Celebrating the boy and the azalea bouquet

This is a great and marvelous day in history! A great day in His-story for our family… and it’s been a great day each year for the last 17 years. Even as I type this -17- s-e-v-e-n-t-e-e-n, I say: wow.

Seventeen years -years!- we have been celebrating the birth, blessing and life of our Samuel—yep, seventeen today.

hannah 'n samuel
hannah and samuel eating strawberries on the lawn…
a ~~long time~~ few years ago.
It looks like they’re eying the ~~tree~~ stump doesn’t it? ~wink~

Gotta tell a funny story. This’ll be sweet for the gramma’s and will be, hopefully, encouraging to younger ma’s. As you can see in the pic above, Samuel and Hannah are sitting on the front lawn. We used to live in a home that was situated at the center of a cul-de-sac and all the gardening done there was in containers and hanging baskets. So, I had an azalea plant that I had, for a few years, pruned and had trained into an azalea “tree” and it was quite beautiful! Well, earlier that spring, the other children had been bringing me bouquets of beautiful spring and wild flowers and so, imagine, if you will, my surprise(!) when Samuel came in and brought me the *whole* top of the fully blooming azalea tree. I am *so* glad that at that moment I exclaimed *delight* at the gift – instead of anger! Part of that delight, actually, was stunned surprise! I told him that was the most beeeeeutiful bouquet I had *ever* received. I kissed and thanked him.

Later that day, I took him and the rest of the children outside and showed them the type of things we cut and the type of things we look at – flowers that always stay *outside* in the yard. That was the beginning of “outdoor bouquets” and “outdoor flowers.” I am still telling the children that today… only, the children I am telling that to are *grand!*children.

Just this morning, I was telling Samuel that I haven’t ever received as gift that was given with such love and joy as the gift of the azalea bouquet… and I hoped his birthday was sweeter than that.

And you know what? I’m still wondering how he ever lopped off that azalea tree.

missing Kathryn

Now two thirds of the way through her stay in Uganda, East Africa, we are sooooo missing our precious girl. I’m not sure which gripped me more today… finding out that she’d just received a package that was carried into the country or calling her and getting cut off as she was, in mid sentence, describing to me her delight at the things we sent and how glad she was tha…

I attempted many times to call her back… thirty-seven numbers over and over… and each time hearing: “The number you are attempting to call is not in service at this time…” So, I wait, and in three hours I will attempt to call again. I miss her more with each passing day and with each passing day I think of more things I wish I could tell her or show her and I so wish I could hear her play the piano. But even having said all that, I would not wish for her to have missed this trip for anything and I would not wish her home a day earlier than the time planned for the work there, and I surely would not trade these days here praying for her, watching for her, reading her letters or hearing her long-distance calls; no, I wouldn’t trade these days for anything.

kg josephine

I was thinking of her piano playing and was just reminded of a special blessing of the LORD. She’s been longing to play the piano… sort of as one is thirsty on a hot day, that’s how she longs to play the piano. Several weeks ago she began asking different ones she’s met if there was a piano somewhere. She had been telling us how she so longed to play something – anything! We smiled and prayed she’d have some opportunity somewhere. But, pianos are extremely scarce and even keyboards are rare and though she ordinarily does not like keyboards, she would more than gladly play one if even for a short time. So the weeks went by and as God would have it, there was a sweet and unexpected opportunity to play the Good Friday service in a church in Jinja. She loved that so much and shared with us how much it meant to her. Anyway, that was just one of many of the sweet serendipities she’s received or experienced while there in Jinja.

I think that opportunity will fill a sweet spot in her heart as she looks back on days in Jinja. Music is “everything” to her – or so she sometimes says. I know her favourite to play is the grand piano and we’ve often teased her that that’s how she will know it’s time for her to marry… a grand piano will be delivered to her home since she’s often said that’s the only thing she really wants. And, knowing that one would never fit in this old farmhouse – it will have to be in hers ~smile~ someday… that is unless the LORD would have her in Jinja… then… well… pianos would diminish in significance.

memories and slices

In the wintertime, the sun streams in our bedroom window… and it’s beautiful. Often, I’m transported back to another time — in my mind. When the sun streams in I’m reminded of the mornings in the weeks following the birth of Naomi – our ninth child, born on Christmas Day. I recall how I would have her there beside me, all snuggled up warm in the blankets and the glow of the sunshine filled the room. I try to remember the last time I carried her. I cannot. And I cannot remember. I should’ve said: I cannot remember carrying her or I cannot remember the last time I carried her or something like that. It was more than a slip to simply have said: I cannot remember. Truth is, more and more: I cannot remember. And then I see a photograph and a seeming flood of memories wash over me. What a precious gift she was – is.
So, I am trying to look at more photographs lately. I am trying to remember not to forget. But each day has its sweet images, its sweet moments… sweet memories in the making. And much as I’d like to just hang out in the never-never-land of long ago, I know the *be here now* is sweeter. It’s sweeter bcz it’s all those yesterdays that brought about today and were I to have to trade the yesterdays for a few todays, I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t want to give up any todays just to have a moment in the sun. If I did… then, I’d miss the beautiful pictures on the fridge… pictures of me by an artist never before showcased on the fridge gallery: granddaughter pictures. They hang alongside pictures coloured by another amazing artist – a grandson. There is still more art on the… wall… another grandson. Another Sharpie artist. I’ve had one of those before.

I guess that’s the good thing about a bunch of yesterday’s. They’ve taught me a lot. I’m not so surprised about things anymore and don’t fret about them so much, either. I’ve had Sharpie wall art on freshly painted walls before. Now’s not the first time and I’m guessing, not the last, either. So… in a day or so or whenever I get the inclination to do so, I’ll scrub and repaint. For now… it’s just more character for this old house. Wow… if these walls could talk… wait! they do! and they talk a lot!

letters far from home

Kathryn’s Letters

the way of parenting

So this morning I’m looking out at the blanket of fresh snow over the fields. I think of the beauty of it all and think how amazing it is that it covers all the flaws… the dirt and weeds, the uneven spots… And then I think of character… the character training in children. The pointing to Jesus… the Author and Finisher of our faith. The only One who can show the way on the path, the only One who can cover our dirt… our weeds… and wash us white as snow.

Train up a child in the way he should go:
and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22.6

And what does this training do?

My son, keep thy father’s commandment,
and forsake not the law of thy mother:
Bind them continually upon thine heart,
and tie them about thy neck.
When thou goest, it shall lead thee;
when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee;
and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.
For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light;
and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:”
from 6.20-23

Reproof and instruction are the way of life… I mull that over and over as I recall how impressed I was last night regarding the training of children. The nurturing, protecting, raising, training, guiding, instructing, correcting, persuading, and praying for and over children. Then I mull over… pray over the children. Pray. Pray over. Pray over and over and over. And over again. nurture, protect, train, guide, instruct, correct, persuade and pray over and over and over. It seems a drudgery, doesn’t it? It seems wearying, doesn’t it? Or can it be seen as the greatest and most noble calling.

As we talked with parents of a younger family last night, we were encouraged and inspired by their zeal and enthusiasm to walk and stay the course. I thought of how I was once in their place not too long ago. I thought of how things were before some trials of life wearied my way. I thought of how things looked before some of the more recent bends in the road. I thought of how things used to be. And then I thought of how they must remain.

It’s taken some real effort to press on and stay the course sometimes. Effort bcz I’ve given in or fought against the lethargy of the enemy, the weariness in well-doing, and the daily-doubters. And then I read the Psalms…

I think the practice of regularly reading the Psalms is one of the greatest blessings of our homelife. I often wonder where we’d be if we didn’t stay the course and continually seek to apply the truths of God’s Word-namely (but not exclusively) the Psalms.

We talked last night about the particular influences on our parenting – those things which inspired and those things which hindered. We talked about vigilance and determination to stay the course. We also talked pretty candidly about those points of failure or wrong turns in the road. This family is currently at the same point on the path we were 10 or 15 years ago. I see them avoiding the snares on that part of the road and am so encouraged to take stock or “know the state of the flock” and seek to avoid those clear and present dangers on the path. The LORD continually reminds me over the years to stay the course… that though a few are older and no longer home, there are many lives yet to shape and guide… that I cannot afford to waste time or to think for a moment that then end of the course is near. It’s today… it’s just begun!
Every once in awhile I think that we’d all do well to now and then reassess our situations and do a little housekeeping in our families – in our parenting… remove clutter, repair the floors or walls, go through the reading materials, check the daily schedules to see where the holes are. You know, the little holes in the day where great siphons creep in and drain the life and resolve right out of a home.
I think it’s a marvelous thing to take a good long look in the mirror… a good honest look and ask: am I where I meant to be and am I where God wants me to be today? Am I on the right path or have I wandered from the way and actually have no real idea where I’m heading?

I am so grateful for the fellowship with brothers and sisters in the LORD – for the iron sharpening iron. How blessed we are and how often we miss this tremendous gift of the LORD bcz we’re looking for something else.

Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering;
(for he is faithful that promised;)
And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

Hebrews 10.23 – 25

sweetest secrets

I’m discovering more and more that it’s best to not tell everyone everything you know ~wink~ and, for that matter, it’s best to just quietly go about your days not making too many waves (but then, that’s a blog entry for another day).

A few days a week Kathryn works as a nanny to two little boys. Other days she teaches piano and filling in the gaps are other babysitting, cleaning and clerical jobs. It dawned on me, the downside to teaching daughters to be proficient or efficient at things everyone needs to have done and things that many are willing to pay to have done, is that those things necessarily take daughters away from home. Now it’s not just because when they’re gone I miss what they could be doing here or the fact that when they’re out I am the mother, it’s more that I simply miss them so very much and wish they could just stay home.

Over the years, one of the things I have taught my girls and boys is to look for the most needful thing and then do that thing— when they’re home or when they’re away. I suppose this has been more true of my training of the girls than specifically of the boys –it’s sort of a throwback to sales training days: here’s the drill: find a need and fill it. I suppose Wes does more of the find-a-job-and-do-it training with the boys.

So in order to help them for their futures and to help them help others, this training has been a very high priority to me–to us. That, and we don’t want to train up (and cannot tolerate) lazy or unproductive behaviour or better said: we’re not condoning capable people to be self-centered, to live selfishly and/or to settle for mediocrity. This breaks down bcz of age and time and physical limitations and/or a myriad of other reasons, but for the most part, if there’s something that needs to be done: it simply needs to be done. Period. Just do it. I think a number of years ago, that was the one poster I allowed to hang in the boy’s room — the Nike, Just do it poster.

Well, I see now that there’s a downside to instilling this capable, industrious and eager work ethic. I heard the other day that the family she nanny’s for has not wanted to divulge their best-kept-secret and risk having others ask Kathryn to work for them. I laughed when I heard that… but then, I’m not laughing now, for now, I am actually thinking that I sort of wish they didn’t know about Kathryn’s love for and ability to look after their children. I’m thinking I don’t want anyone else to hear of this sweet resource. So then… when told that she is going to be leaving for Uganda, they say… O, wait, can Hannah come help? I wince. Another one of my sweetest secrets.

Truth is…

The adage, truth is stranger than fiction, sure rings clear when considering some news stories. I often think nothing could top what’s already been done or said by Cindy Sheehan and then I correct my words and say, I shall never cease to be amazed at what she says or does – but, truly, that she has “followers” or supporters really is astonishing. And, by the way, I do not begrudge a woman grieving the loss of her son. But (to me) her antics or her behaviour is beyond the pale. So now she’s selling and signing books and she’s claiming a stunning feat: that she’s a finalist for a Nobel Peace Prize. If that happens… well… *anything* is possible and nothing shall surprise me in the future. And… wasn’t she going to just go home if the President would talk with her. I still think he should have talked to her… maybe he would have called her bluff. No worries. Her bluff’s been called. Too bad there are so many who don’t know that yet and continue to clamour after the pink smoke. I guess she’ll be the frontrunner in ’08. May the LORD save this nation.

My husband reads books to our family a couple of nights a week and we just fished listening to him read A Table in the Presence by LT Carey Cash. What an incredibly powerful and amazing account of the first days of the war in Iraq. What Cindy Sheehan protests and LT Cash reports are two distinctly different operations, to be sure. Her vitriol and his eyewitness account are dramatically opposite the other. We highly recommend the book… an account of the miraculous work and protection of God in the lives of soldiers in combat –the battle for more than their lives and freedom for the Iraqi people. A story of divine provision and protection that’s likely been repeated countless times in the lives of the soldiers in battle.