Potpourri – Page 24 – The Welcome Home

thoughts over a cup of strong coffee

Christians are like the flowers in a garden,
that have each of them the dew of Heaven,
which, being shaken with the wind, they let fall at each other’s roots,
whereby they are jointly nourished, and become nourishers of each other.”

—John Bunyan

This quote was particularly meaningful to me today as I was reflecting on the blog entries and comments of the last couple of days. And you know, it’s interesting, we can all go along or get along really well until one of us speaks up or speaks our mind on a matter. Then… suddenly we realize we’re all individual or we all have individual perspectives or opinions and — often — our opinions differ. Sometimes our opinions differ only slightly and often they differ a great deal. I think this is where the Scripture: “A soft answer turneth away wrath …” needs to be kept close at hand. We may feel strongly about something and we may even be right ( I know I usually feel I am) and yet, sometimes the better part of gracious living is to say what needs to be said and leave off with clamouring over it.

As has been obvious, the matter of birth-control is one of those settled or ‘done-deal’ matters for me. Ha—even more so, actually, since I appear to no longer bear children. I know to some, I might have entered the “it’s easy for you to say_______” years. It is easy for me to say or to stand on that firm belief bcz I lived it and live it still. But that’s not to say it was always comfortable to live out, however. It wasn’t always comfortable to live out in the midst of natural pregnancy related difficulties, loneliness on the path, scoffing by people I respected, snide remarks over pregnancies, children, legalism, etc., etc. But you know… it wasn’t hard to trust God for His way and His will and I never looked too far beyond where I was at the time. I trusted —my husband and I trusted— God for the next one. That’s just the way we lived it… trusting God day by day that He would do what He said He would do. And HE did. Always.

Birth control happens to be one of the biggies… that’s why I shared a number of days ago that I believe it’s one of the greatest hindrances, judgments, lies of or threats to the “church” today. I think it’s likely one of the most damaging or potentially damaging issues in marriage—and surely for the family and the picture of Christ and the church. But does it matter that I think all these things? No… not really. Well, sure, it matters to me – if I didn’t believe something, or if I didn’t stand for something I really wouldn’t be standing for anything. So I stand on this matter and I stand firmly on it. But do I divide or seek to break fellowship over this matter? No. For one thing, I’d have very few friends. For though —many— people I/we know have large families, on the whole, most we’ve known: don’t. Most people we know or have been friends with a long time don’t feel as we do about this matter of Lordship of the womb. In fact, most don’t really hold to lots of the things that we consider to be foundational planks. Seriously. O, but praise God there are many who do —else— it would truly be a lonely path. Lonely or not… we walk it bcz this is just the way it looks from the pages we’re reading here and through faith in the One who holds our hand. If it weren’t for Jesus…. oooooooo, I shudder to think where I’d be today.

How can two couples pick up the same Bible, read it, pray and hear a different answer? I do not know. How can two couples pick up the Bible and say it says this or that and agree and then see another issue and adamantly disagree? I don’t know. I know there will always be divisions; I know there will always be different opinions on matters or different interpretations on matters — I guess I’d just say that if teaching is going against the Word of God and there tends to be a softening or an ignoring of God’s truths, then that teacher’s opinions/interpretations would be suspect and I would tend to dismiss the words—if a preacher taught error we would not stay and listen or if a preacher lived error, we wouldn’t stay in that teaching. O, they might sound good or, better yet, they might sound reasonable, but God’s Word isn’t first reasonable… not to the natural man, anyway. Consider this: die to self. Whoa– we don’t want to die to self… we like what we like and we don’t like to be told to die to anything. Or another: Pick up your cross and follow Me. O… but I like life at the carnival… do I have to leave it? See… God’s Word is not always easy… but you know what the very astonishing thing is? His yoke — His yoke is easy. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. That sounds like a contradiction doesn’t it… yoked and free.

So, when we’re called to do things or called to say things… and we’re in the yoke, it really doesn’t matter what others say or what others do. Our walk is in the yoke… and (hopefully & prayerfully) the others’ walk is in the yoke as well. So fret not when others disagree or when others don’t care for the way you put 4 creamers in a cup of strong coffee. When you’re walking along, try to just talk along and not spill too much of that strong coffee on ’em.

Whatever spills on them from you… well, let it be the dew of heaven.

Anguish over decisions in childbarriering

As I inferred in a post or two ago… there is often great anguish over decisions we make or made or must make in marriage. Actually, more specifically, in the area of childbearing and/or “childbarriering.” I know I’ve made some very bold statements in regards to this matter – and I stand on them, though there are times I might even seem to bend or waffle on strongly held beliefs, I guess I desire to convey that I seek to hold my gaze fixed on the Standard of the Word. Being fallible, I do have times of fretting, of doubting, of questioning, etc., etc. But my resolve is to keep my eye, my self, my hope and my will on the goal of serving and submitting to the only Holy, Immortal, Invisible, Unchanging, Infallible, Omniscient, Omnipresent, all-Loving, all glorious, Eternal: God. That high calling —that grace of God— keeps me stepping Heavenward.

I know it is in this stepping that I both step on toes and am stepped on. I do not intentionally do so or maliciously do so – though, for those on whose toes I step, it likely appears intentional –as if I have an ax to grind or some self-serving reason for writing as I do. I took a risk sharing strongly held beliefs and I took a risk sharing what I’ve shared in the past concerning motherhood, homeschooling, government issues, trends in the “church” today, homemaking, submission, child-training, and most recently: birth-control. Risk is a curious blend of doubt, probability, hope, danger and trust. Since I trust the LORD for who He is, what He has done, what He said He will do and for His eternal purposes to be accomplished because of Who He is: I, by faith, take steps forward that *seem* like risks and yet, in reality, they are steps of obedience — steps of faith. Faith being the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Faith that by prayer and the reading and rereading of the Word, I come to conclusions and set about to share what I see it saying based on the Word itself, by the truths I have seen laid bare and the experiences of others and the teaching of men who walk with God. How else, then, do we live and move in this world? It is by faith in God that comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God by the moving of the Holy Spirit that we know that we know that we know. I think of Romans 1.20 – “…that the invisible things of Him are clearly seen, being understood by the thing that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead.”

So why do I say then that there may be anguish over decisions? Because we are not infallible. We make decisions, sometimes foolish ones, based on what we see. We live and move making decisions based on what we *don’t* see. We make decisions based on fear or based on doubt. We even make decisions based on Truth – but the consequences or the outworking of the decision becomes painful even scary at times. As one of the readers and an additional few personal letters I received indicated, past decisions regarding childbearing have present consequences or cause present anguish. Decisions to limit family size based on convenience alone are usually met with regret later when things aren’t (or didn’t, in fact, turn out) as they once appeared. Even when the determination to limit family size or childbearing is or was based on medical reasons, there is still regret years down the road — there is still anguish —it may have been a right deicision, but there is still anguish. Was the decision wrong or not of faith or whatever? No – as I have shared on a number of occasions, there are times when our situations do not pan out the way we assume they will or would have. This, to some, may sound like waffling or hesitation or even contradiction to a “staunchly held” position – it’s neither – it’s just reality. The reality for my friends with pcos or endometriosis, or cancer or other conditions is limited, no or ending childbearing. They still stand strong – I still stand strong – on the resolution regarding birth-control and faith-based-family size — whatever that ends up being or appearing.

With those for whom this is a hurtful or painful area I empathize. With those for whom this matter of past choices in “birth-control” is one of remorse, I empathize. To those who heard and bought the lie that a vas or a tie was going to fix things for them and now see that the big fix is a big lie, I truly empathize. I cannot count the number of men and women who are walking with the LORD and share how they now deeply regret that painful and seeming permanent decision to end childbearing. We have several friends who were told the same lie: do your wife a favor and get fixed. They so deeply regret a decision based on worldly assumptions, methods and falsehoods. So is there hope for the anguish over past decisions? Yes – hope and life and *that* more abundantly! All the promises of God in Jesus are yay or yes and amen!

The enemy would have us to believe that we can never be forgiven. It’s either immediate or down the road, most times, that the schemes of the cunning enemy are revealed as lies… the enemy that makes sin so enticing, so expedient, so necessary that it’s not only believable but something to be embraced. That’s what the enemy’s big fix is – the only way out of the problem of: children.The enemy will never reveal the consequence of the big lie – the termination of godly seed, the finality of cutting off blessings, etc., etc. Is there hope? Is there forgiveness? Is there a solution? Yes, yes, and yes. It’s all in Jesus. As is everything. It’s all Jesus.

The solution may simply be in repentance. The solution may be a reversal of the heart. A solution may be fixing the broken – a physical, surgical reversal. A solution may be all those things… but it is in the hand of the LORD that those things will be done or decided – that’s where peace is and that’s were anguish is turned to joy. That’s where regret is turned to trust, iniquity to cleanness and doubt to faith—where the self-centered life is yielded to God and its members as instruments of righteousness – no longer of iniquity unto iniquity.

In the end, a decision may not appear outwardly, but it will be of the heart… where decisions are made and where decisions matter.p.s. Thanks again, Jill, for the beautifully succinct comment post regarding this matter and God’s eternal purpose.

I was going along and got tripped in the school yard and the contents of my knapsack was strewn all over… but I’ll gather things up and attempt to get my papers in order and have something to share in the morning.

I was going to write a bit more about the blessing of children and the brevity of seasons… time doesn’t allow for that right now. I spent it in reply to comments on friday’s blog.

Non-optionals

Time’s a strange thing… it has a wonderful and peculiar way of sort of settling things. Sort of like a river finds that level ground or a lake is formed with the pooling of water… people’s ideas or methods seem to me to tend to be like that. I think of the people who used to think like me and no longer do and people who never thought like me and do so now. People who, through a series of circumstances and events have changed their once staunchly held views and those who once held views in strict opposition to ones I’ve held for many years are now visiting with me about what I consider to be “non-optionals” for Christian women.

When I was pregnant with Kathryn, a book came out on the market and was thought by many in the Christian community to be a rather far out book, narrow in scope and position. A friend gave me a copy bcz she thought the woman sounded just like me. Now, at that time I had come to the living decision that God was indeed the supreme authority of the family and blessed controller of all things and surely the Lord of the womb. This was sort of an uncommon thought even in Christian circles – and, sadly, it’s remained so, for the most part. But these thoughts were becoming increasingly important to me… thoughts concerning the life and ways of the Proverbs 31 woman, the 1 Peter 3 wife and the Ephesians 5 marriage… Soon, it was no longer just head knowledge from Bible studies and other reading, but it had become heart knowledge as I watched Him guide our marriage and provide for our family.

So I read Mary Pride’s TheWayHome and of course it resonated with me and I was sort of armed for service, if you will, as I spoke to other sisters about my ardent beliefs. I was actually quite alone – I came to discover. I was especially mindful of this when I would see the women sort of glaze over at the thoughts I was sharing. Well… that really didn’t deter me in the slightest. Actually it all sort of fanned the flame and fueled the fire as I read more and more of the Bible from the perspective of full and total surrender. I think in time I met a couple of friends who saw things the way I did and what a delight it was to talk with them. And then, in time, I would meet a few others who shared my same passion for the Word, for family, for keeping at home, for childbearing and, eventually, homeschooling. But it was a long and rather lonely path at first.

Only now do I have great “come backs” for the arrogant and rude comments I received when I was “popping out children one after another.” To those who said things like: We know what you’ve been doing… I would now wish I had not been so sheepish and apologetic. I wish I had had the fortitude to say: And you don’t? To those who said, Don’t you know what causes that? I would like to have said, Yes, but I sure am sorry you and your husband can’t seem to figure it out. To those who said, We want to take good care of the ones we’ve got or we just want to be responsible… I wish I’d have had the temerity to say, I just want what God wants and I just want to be faithful to Him.

Instead… each time (early on) I would smile and sheepishly reply some inane apology or something. But then one or two more children would be born and my conviction was strengthened and bolstered to the point that I began to reply with comments that reflected my resolve to trust and obey the LORD and to give Him the glory due His name. For by then, surely, I had seen His glory and His provision in ways too numerous to count. I began to develop and solidify the non-optionals that have been mainstays for many years.
In the early days, it was very rare to meet women with strong convictions about marriage and family. It was so rare to meet women who had totally given their family size and order to the LORD. It was also very rare to meet women with strong conviction to follow the biblical mandates for wives and so, it was really a blessing to have been in those “right places at the right times” for the LORD to work in our home.
When we lived on an island in the San Juan’s, there was much time for reading and memorizing Scriptures. There was much time for gardening, washing, canning, sewing and caring for the children. I was steeped in His Word and I am more convinced than ever that if a woman would just spend time in the Word —reading and reading and reading… she’d come to the very same conclusions. God is so merciful and His Word is so living.

As this day comes to a close, I am mindful of the glory and precious mercy of the LORD. We celebrated the twelfth birthday of our eighth son. O, how I love that boy. What a precious gift he is. How much we’d have missed if we hadn’t been led of the LORD… and obeyed His call.

I think I’ll write some more about non optionals for Christian women. I know I’ll probably be writing into space… but that’s okay… I’ve done that a lot over the years.

justaslice

I’m sick. No, really I am… You thought I just might be launching into a rant about some political matter or societal issue or something, no? OR that I stepped off the face of the earth…
No… really, I actually feel like I just stepped off a rollercoaster ride that’s been going loop-de-loop nonstop since last week. And, really, it’s been quite a delightful ride—it’s just that it sure was time to get off, make a big pot of chicken vegetable soup, and work at a plan to go to bed early tonight. We’ve had a houseful for the last several days and so it seems as though I’ve been standing in the kitchen for days, washing, prepping, cooking, washing, serving, washing, shopping for more, prepping, washing, cooking, serving, washing, pouring, washing, cooking… so I woke up with a very sore throat and achy body and knew the end of the line had come and it was time to hop off the ride and back into bed.

So what was all the excitement? In addition to a few evenings of dinner-for-many… pizza and barbecue, etc., etc. and our church meeting here on Sunday, some young friends came over from Idaho to go skydiving at the nearby airport and, as usually happens, the weather was unpredictable, overcast and drizzly most all the time they were here -except- for a couple of wonderful openings in the skies for the two different jumps they were able to make. Everyone was ecstatic to watch then jump from the plane and then with baited breath waited for what seemed an eternity for the chutes to pop open and, even then, they seemed to dangle in the sky for several minutes on the way down. And just as amazing, the clouds seemed to close up moments after their safe landing. (I hope to have some pics of this soon)

It really was fun to have the house full of friends each day and………..

back to blogging… later. 😉

boys…

Andrew…

“Mama, I know how to make people’s heads go away from me [lean back]!”

He then licks his finger and directs it toward my face… and I lean my head back. He nearly falls down laughing. I laugh too. Then I watch him go into the other room and proceed to tell the others the same thing. They all lean back, too. He laughs, they laugh.

Naomi attempts the same trick. Licks her finger, points it toward Andrew’s face, he unconsciously leans back. They both laugh hysterically.
This truly is a slice of my life. It’s but one of the many daily occurrences in our home.

(O, and I put up a few pics on the slices of life page – fun!)

speaking of coffee…

And… uh, we have been…

bettycomiccoffee

A slice of this day

I had a message all typed out (and no, I hadn’t saved it) and it got lost in an accidental circuit breaker switch bump. And so it goes… another ooops.

I hope to recollect my thoughts on the matter I was writing about bcz it seemed important to me. You know, lots of times when I sit down here in my little office I look out and see the always the same yet ever changing view outside and I think of things I’d like to share… thoughts I’d like to somehow convey about marriage or family or motherhood or even those hot topics like: the church today or some political ~~scam~~ story.

Today I have been thinking about baggage and flights and carry-on’s. Our daughter is scheduled to come home in forty-eight hours. I cried and prayed her through her last day in Jinja, her last night spent packing, her travel to Entebbe and her flight to London. Sleep was scarce last night as I thought of how terribly bittersweet her transition would be and how difficult it would be for her to somehow say good-bye for now to those who’ve become so dear to her –some who’ve, in this short time, become her dearest friends… and to the babies and toddlers to whom she’s become attached and so loves… and had to leave behind. I thought of the difficulties she would inevitably face when leaving the poverty of that place and reentering the “modern world” of conveniences, affluent crowds, choices and the luxuries of electricity, clean water, paved roads and air conditioning –just to name a few things.

I’ve been thinking of how she might feel making the transition from being there and the bittersweet desire to be home again – for “home” will never be quite the same again and will, most likely for her, be a difficult place for her to be. It’s right and all… but it will still be difficult for she has left behind a part of her heart and is now coming home with that part missing. So, I’ve cried a lot for the girl who loves the LORD so much and who is so obviously loved and provided for by Him. I’ve cried missing this girl, who has always been such an integral part of our family, and am looking forward to her soon return with tremendous anticipation.

We’ve been counting the “sleeps…” So, now, it’s two more “sleeps” and then we hop in the van and head for SeaTac… and I’m quite sure, for us all, that life will never be the same again.

summer’s coming…

Motherhood’s Company Car: it’s a dream car

If the apron is the uniform of motherhood, then the van is motherhood’s company car. Now, when a mother first starts out, she has the starter car… it’s the two door model she attempts to “make do” until she has to move up to the dreaded “mini van.” It doesn’t take much time (or brains) to conclude that getting in and out of the back seat with a baby carrier and all the stuff doesn’t work well in a sports car.

You know, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret and it is this: I sort of ~~cringe~~ bristle when I hear women talk about the “mini van” as though it were some sort of plague or dreaded disease. I try to figure out what they dread so much. I wonder what images are conjured up in their minds. When they say the words mini and van together, do they see thick gray-beige elastic support hose that cover large, dimpled legs with protruding vericosities and imagine that the boys in their high school senior class might not have aged and they did? Do they see a personal set of full dentures magnified through the side of a glass with fizzy cleaning solution in it? Do they see themselves through thick glasses, wearing hearing aids and a light blue sweater and walking in support shoes aided by a cane? Is it detestable to drive a mini van because of some misplaced value system that relegates anyone over twenty-nine and a half to the bone pile — or sees anyone with a bit of aging as someone of less value and personal worth? Or worse: someone with more than two children as… what?! I cannot think of words here.
I shake my head and try to figure it out… and I think: what a messed up society that determines the worth of a person by the make and model of the car they drive and the number printed on the label of the jeans they wear. So… this is my rant for the day.

You know… little kids never say – O, yuck: a mini van or O, yuck: a 12 passenger van or whatever. No… they know that mama needs a car for her babies (and their friends), for the groceries, the strollers, the carseats, the pack ‘n play and all the other paraphernalia children require. I don’t know any little children who haven’t been thrilled to pieces when the family moves on to the “big car!”
Little children don’t measure their worth (or failings) by things. Really and truly, they don’t measure their worth by the type or the size of car their mama thinks is cool – no, they get their worth by the way their mama sees them. And believe me, when the mama is ashamed of where and who she is: the children know it (and their behaviour betrays it).

So, today, as my husband was handing my set of keys over to the mechanic and thanked him for the work he’s done to help us with our vehicles, I thanked the mechanic for taking such good care of my sports car. I love that sports car; mmm, mmmm, mmmm, really. It’s a 15 passenger sports car, and it’s my dream car. Really. When I’m driving along, whether the seats are all occupied or not, it’s my dream car: it’s filled with all my dreams.

I so wish women would see the unequaled gift that children are and embrace the gift enthusiastically and drive motherhood’s vehicles with delight!

When the hearts of fathers are turned to the children… and when women throw away the tabloids and quit measuring their appearance, work & worth by the women in People magazine and when they begin to embrace the high calling for which they were created, and when children are brought home, and taught and valued as the blessings God says they are and when children are esteemed as highly as most esteem possessions, a law degree or some other title, and when children are seen as priceless treasures from the LORD, then there will be a high demand and a shortage of 15 passenger dream cars. Count on it.

Look out the window, mama… if you’ve got a van in the parking area, then you already have a dream car. It’s not just anyone who can drive a van… you’ve got to be somebody pretty special to have that privilege. And you know what’s more? The season of this privilege is very short. Very short.
Remember that, the next time a young mom laments her “problems” and shares her disdain for… the dreaded mini van.