Category: Potpourri

mulling over 31 Proverbs

teacuppamela.pngI’m taking a break from writing – handwriting, that is – my husband has encouraged us, each one, to write out a copy of the Word—the Bible in our own hand—His Words, our writing.  We’ve begun in the New Testament and have set about writing – originally a chapter a day, but now have relaxed that to half for longer chapters or about 25 verses a day.  I didn’t quit writing simply to rest my hand, but because I wanted to continue to look into a matter that really captured my attention earlier today.  I was doing a bit of website updating and writing (rather, typing out a letter pertaining to the life of a faithful woman), and I began to mull over, again and again, 31 proverbs.

I suppose that being a “list person” or needing lists as reminders or prompters has its drawbacks.  Sometimes this list-checking fuels the ‘works vs. grace’ tendencies I try to avoid.  But one of the advantages lists provide is the advantage of seeing progressions or seeing corollaries to each item or quality on that list.  Well, so it is with the “list” of the qualities of the “Proverbs 31 woman.”

But it’s not a check list—the kind you seek to do or knock off so that you can get a gold star at the end of the quarter. It’s sooooo not that at all.  This “list” or this account is a description of what a virtuous woman looks like, acts like, strives toward, accomplishes and believes.

Each description is sort of a facet of the diamond she is—for she is strong; each description is sort of a chapter of a life lived for Christ—for she is faithful;
each description is sort of a gift—for she leaves a legacy worth passing on to her children;
each description is a demonstration of honour—for it is the heart of her husband that safely trusts in her, for he is known in the gates—and the fruit of her work praises her there, too;
and finally each description is sort of a manual for women—for each one is an instruction, each one defines what Titus 2 succinctly directs older women to teach younger women.

pamelasig2.jpg

a couple of links for you

I thought about titling this blog entry: cuff links – you know, as in hand cuffs.  But then I didn’t. rolled eyes

My husband sent me a couple of links that were of interest to me and might be to you, too.  In our case, clicking second link (convicted felons) proved to be very interesting as it revealed the presence of a convicted of rapist living in a home not too far from ours – not too far at all.   Uh, gulp.

So, my husband writes:
“In my research on the JWs, I’ve come across a site called: http://www.silentlambs.org/  …that is set to expose pedophiles, especially within religious groups (and they seem to have an abundance of listings regarding JWs) anyway, there’s a lot of info there, and again I would forward the link sent out some time ago, where you can look up a map of an area to see if any convicted felons are living near you, including links to their picture, crime and general location: http://www.familywatchdog.us/ too sad!!”

Really sad.  The world without the Lord… so lost.

Way more than a cuppa

teacuppamela.pngA few years ago I was speaking at a retreat and was sharing some basic marriage “imperatives” and what it takes to be: married for keeps. Yes… that’s a title of a book I’m writing in my mind. It’ll probably end up being published there too. And be a best seller. Well, if nothing more, that book, or the writing of that book, will keep my marriage sweet and lasting. And my husband happy.

During one of the retreat sessions I was sharing the need for wives to study their husbands — to be very, very attentive to their husbands — attentive to their needs, attentive to their words and attentive to their desires. It’s not so much that wives just be aware of those things but that they be attentive and actively anticipating and seeking to meet, supply and validate those needs and desires. I shared with the women how there are (out there in the world) women who are seeking out men—women who are looking for men… women who know what men want and are ready to meet those needs/desires. Just look around—what sells? What’s available? What gets attention? As I’ve said many times: Don’t be deceived, don’t be foolish; someone wants your husband and will do whatever it takes to get him. The women know what men want. And they dress, talk, act or respond in whatever way that might be—they know what sells and they advertise.

During a mealtime at another retreat this whole topic was talked over in more detail. I shared with the women how many espresso stands (or, rather, the women who work in them) are geared up to fuel fantasies and tantalize the male customers. A few of the women denied this could be true but another woman validated my observations as she shared how her husband regularly stopped at a local espresso stand to get a cuppa (there is no intention to indicate that her husband was frequenting one of the steamy stands – the example here is regarding the very attentive and know-what-they-want nature of a lot of the baristas).

I listened intently as she described a time when she accompanied her husband on some errands and told of his getting gas and how she was seeing the girl at the espresso stand waving to her husband… and when he finished filling the car and paying his bill, he pulled over to the coffee stand where the barista had his coffee waiting for him. The wife was sort of flabbergasted at that whole series of events and the husband matter-of-factly said that the girl knew what he liked and always had it ready for him. Not so surprisingly, since then, I have heard other similar stories to the illustration I just shared and they’ve been a springboard for many talks.

Many latté stands that dot the landscape around here are selling a lot more than coffee – that’s for sure. It’s not rocket science to come to that conclusion when you see “Babes in Bikini’s” on the reader board and the names given to coffee blends aren’t just a simple description of the contents in the paper cup. So, each time I pass by one of the espresso stands, I mentally gather a little more material –a little more affirmation to keep talking to wives about safeguarding marriage and being attentive to the needs of their own husbands.

So, the front page story of the Seattle Times this morning, aside from being risqué and tasteless, further confirms my point. And, ‘bet that man’s either loving or regretting his front page claim to fame. The whole thing makes me sad –sad for the women, who, in a sense, prostitute themselves and sad for the men who pay them for the morning thrill. It’s all a sad cycle of slavery to the counterfeit of true love. It’s all sad. And… probably sad for respectable women (and men) who attempt to run a clean, honourable business just selling coffee and muffins. Glad Howard Schultz isn’t on the path to make Starbucks the hooters of coffee houses. I like Sbucks even more now.

Rather than kindling for tomorrow morning’s woodstove, I think I’ll keep this copy of the Seattle Times paper just on the off chance there’s a woman naïve enough to believe this doesn’t really go on.

pamelasig2.jpg

sorting through the biggest problems

teacuppamela.pngYou know… when you try and quantify or attempt to qualify an issue, there inevitably comes a point when you have to retract a statement or further qualify it.  I muse the problems that face America.  I do this from time to time when I read an article about some new law or program or, worse, more government interference with either marriage and family-life, faith or “property rights.”  No, wait… that’s not all that should be on the list.  I start thinking along the lines of feminism and its incredible influence (read: damage) to homes and families -and more: to women all over the country -no, make that the world.  Consider that for awhile.  Consider that men are relegated to some lesser role (and many have no idea how that all happened and they don’t know who they are or what they’re supposed to do) and women are fighting for a greater role—totally missing that they already had the greatest role.  They didn’t need a greater role.  They needed and still need to acknowledge the most precious privilege ever given.  The role of a woman… created by God and all that that might mean.  What a privilege to be created by God for His great purpose.  And for men to be created by God for His great purpose.  But I digress.
So… I go on thinking.  You know the most egregious thing about some “rights” people fight for?  It usually means the right of something or someone else is infringed upon.  And the longer I live, the more I see that the thing that’s being fought for or against actually has little or nothing to do with that “issue” or that “right.”

Take the heinous atrocity of abortion — call it what it really is: the right to control society by condoning and performing and promoting murder. For profit.  See… it’s not really about choice.  One of the two (or more) *people* involved in that so-called choice cannot speak – the scream no one hears remains ignored.  So, it’s not really about choice.  It’s about a lot of stuff, but it’s not about choice.
May God help us.

Worldnet Daily article of interest.

pamelasig2.jpg

And then I wondered…

Is all the cookie dough supposed to be baked into cookies?
a few of our children make cookie dough for the sole purpose of tasting it (okay… eating it) by the fingerful handful.

Still I wonder about cookies getting stale.  My husband reminded me that cookies do not stay more than a day or so and so we do not have the opportunity to test different methods of restoring stale cookies.  However… some of the over-baked firmer cookies make great dunkers for coffee.  I know… I know… this is why I’m continually plagued with the need to resume the umpteenth and one diet.

A question I’ve never asked.

teacuppamela.pngI’ve been a subscriber to an email list for many years… not really a participant except through occasional private mails but not a ‘regular’ poster. Anyway… as I usually do each day, I browsed the content list to scan the mail.

I’m still laughing. O, not at the sister who posted the question and certainly, not even the question itself.

I just didn’t know there was a need for an answer – no, wait – I didn’t even think to articulate such a question. When could that question possibly have come up? The question was in regards to stale cookies and what to do to help them remain fresh tasting longer.

Like I said, it’s a question I’ve never asked… 😮

pamelasig2.jpg

Life’s a Rewrite

teacuppamela.pngI’m sitting here this morning thinking of ways we used to do things and ways we do them now. Sort of a rewrite.

I stayed up a little late (a little late for lately, not a little late for times past – that would’ve been *really* late) last night as I had totally forgotten the deadline for the next issue of Making It Home. So, just as I’ve been doing around our home in the last few days working around with our children, I decided to write about clutter and reworking things to work better for “where you’re at” today. Then I remembered that I had written something about that in a past Welcome Home message. So I got that out and rewrote it. Life’s a rewrite.

You know, much of our “rewriting” or re-righting these days is just simply a fine-tuning of ways we used to do things or it is a: setting things aright. Stuff happens and we stop or get sloppy about the way we do things in the home. We let things slide, we stop being so particular and we stop striving for excellence. O, at first, it’s probably for some fairly noble reason… we want to enjoy things more, we don’t want to be so rigid or… gasp: legalistic. So we make changes or changes happen that we didn’t intend. Sort of those unintended consequences of life that surprise us when we see where we are down the road.

So the “let’s just enjoy life” or “let’s just have fun” days are over. It’s time to declare war on the clutter and get the house back. The house had fallen into the hands of the enemy and it’s time to get it back. It’s a tough thing to be the General.

“For the commandment is a lamp;
and the law is light;
and reproofs of instruction are the way of life”

Proverbs 6.23

So we, following what Daddy likes to see in the daily schedule and schooling, make a better plan! Mama sets the law in motion around the house and both the daddy and the mama are happy… used to be said that when mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. But we know the deeper truth is: If daddy and mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy. O… but that’s a message for another day… a message on protecting, preserving and fortifying marriage. That’ll be a good message to write.

So… the plan? the reworking? the rewriting of “things we used to do?” Well, the rewriting isn’t so much bcz the things were wrong, it’s just necessary from time to time to rewrite or RE RIGHT things. To make them right for the stage of life and the players. You add a few children, you add a newly capable worker or you “lose” one to marriage or college or work and then you need a rewrite. Things that used to work can still work, but they do need a rewrite. And when things are set right, we make a new chart, a new daily plan with new assignments. Until the next rewrite. This is the necessary flexing of motherhood. The lax ways are no way for a family to function well… there may be a measure of flexibility, but laxity is a very dangerous ingredient to mix into the bowl of family life. Ask me how I know this. 😮

So, a rewrite; a re-right. So… every one dressed, breakfast, Bible study, etc., shoes on and hair combed. Beds made. It’s time for a RE RIGHT. You go around… assess the situation. Yep… it’s worse than you thought. BE CHEERFUL. You already have a headache? Take a coupla tylenol and drink a tall glass of water. You have to move on.

Gather ALL the dirty laundry take it to the laundry room. This time we’re not hassling about whether or not the laundry is actually dirty or wrinkled dirty or lazy dirty. It all goes and gets a fresh start (unless it’s folded in a basket). Start a load. Then we gather all dishes, cups, glasses. Yes. The kitchen. Load and run the dishwasher. We don’t talk about the fact that we aren’t supposed to eat upstairs or yada, yada, yada. We already had that talk and we’ll have it again when the RE RIGHT is right. Get all the library books into the library bin. By the door. Get all the “borrowed’s” in a bin. By the door. Go switch the laundry loads… fold clean dry laundry into a bin. Leave it there ready for the next load.  (edit: I forgot to mention a few steps) Get all the loose toys or parts and put them in a bin or a few bins. Be thinking of the toys that need to go and bless other children whose mothers shop at the thrift store.  Yes… it’s time to pare down the toy cache.  Cache is good in computing, but a large cache of toys is not good… even if they are hidden.  Limit toys to a designated amount in a designated area or a couple of designated areas.  Toys can be the undoing of mother’s sanity.  And children’s manners.  Then get all the school books in a bin.  All the papers in a bin.  These both will be ordered and many most will be tossed.  Trust me, you won’t remember which child drew which picture unless the name and date are on them.  As with most things you think you’re sure you’ll remember… you won’t.

So… you’ve tackled most of the gathering stuff and setting in the right room.  If you still have time, start sorting and putting away.  If not, then start in again tomorrow and for how many days it takes to get the house back into a home.  But stay at it.  Like diets, you don’t see the dramatic results right at first… but given several days… well, the results show and generate comments!

So, you’re staying at it… [all the while you are praising for the good jobs being done]. Get all the ironing and hang ON hangers and put in one place ready for ironing day. It will come. This is part of the re-right. [mobilize ALL the troops] Then… we all go around putting things in their right room. Then… the ordering of each room begins. That’s where we are today. Gotta go.

pamelasig2.jpg

It takes about this long…

teacuppamela.pngYou know… I am finally getting why children take so long to grow up.  It’s mothers who need about this long to get the hang of the deal.  And then when we get the hang of the deal, we get calls or letters like this:

quotebegin.gifWell, we finally got here..  the car is actually looking quite well considering all it went through, i guess it wasn’t built to roll…

So praise the Lord I’m just kidding.  We made it here safely with no problems despite the Mount Hood pass being quite icy.

Thank you for all of your prayers!  –tim

So, we need about this much time to laugh at letters like that.

We also need about this long to happily take the grandchildren for a week or more. We get it.  We know that every mom needs a little time to regroup sometimes.  It’s not that the mom can’t handle the load or that she doesn’t desire motherhood or whatever else.  It’s that sometimes a mom just needs to gather her thoughts, to cut and eat her own food, to carry on an uninterrupted fifteen minute conversation, to go potty alone, to wear the same garment – unsoiled – for a whole day… to see sunsets and the sunrise in another place… to have a few minutes to write down some stuff she thinks today she’ll never forget.  But she will forget.  We all do.

It takes about this long to see that need and be very willing to meet it.

It takes about this long to not be so flustered when nothing at all works out right for a whole day.

It takes about this long to not be fearful of so many of the “what if __________ happens” in life. And not so overcome if the _____________’s don’t happen or don’t come along.

So… motherhood.  What an amazing gift.  I wish I’d known sooner what a gift it is and how quickly it goes.

pamelasig2.jpg

the way of parenting

teacuppamela.pngSo this morning I’m looking out at the blanket of fresh snow over the fields. I think of the beauty of it all and think how amazing it is that it covers all the flaws… the dirt and weeds, the uneven spots… And then I think of character… the character training in children. The pointing to Jesus… the Author and Finisher of our faith. The only One who can show the way on the path, the only One who can cover our dirt… our weeds… and wash us white as snow.

quotebegin.gifTrain up a child in the way he should go:
and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22.6

And what does this training do?

quotebegin.gif My son, keep thy father’s commandment,
and forsake not the law of thy mother:
Bind them continually upon thine heart,
and tie them about thy neck.
When thou goest, it shall lead thee;
when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee;
and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.
For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light;
and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:”
from 6.20-23

Reproof and instruction are the way of life… I mull that over and over as I recall how impressed I was last night regarding the training of children. The nurturing, protecting, raising, training, guiding, instructing, correcting, persuading, and praying for and over children. Then I mull over… pray over the children. Pray. Pray over. Pray over and over and over. And over again. nurture, protect, train, guide, instruct, correct, persuade and pray over and over and over. It seems a drudgery, doesn’t it? It seems wearying, doesn’t it? Or can it be seen as the greatest and most noble calling.

As we talked with parents of a younger family last night, we were encouraged and inspired by their zeal and enthusiasm to walk and stay the course. I thought of how I was once in their place not too long ago. I thought of how things were before some trials of life wearied my way. I thought of how things looked before some of the more recent bends in the road. I thought of how things used to be. And then I thought of how they must remain.

It’s taken some real effort to press on and stay the course sometimes. Effort bcz I’ve given in or fought against the lethargy of the enemy, the weariness in well-doing, and the daily-doubters. And then I read the Psalms…

I think the practice of regularly reading the Psalms is one of the greatest blessings of our homelife. I often wonder where we’d be if we didn’t stay the course and continually seek to apply the truths of God’s Word-namely (but not exclusively) the Psalms.

We talked last night about the particular influences on our parenting – those things which inspired and those things which hindered. We talked about vigilance and determination to stay the course. We also talked pretty candidly about those points of failure or wrong turns in the road. This family is currently at the same point on the path we were 10 or 15 years ago. I see them avoiding the snares on that part of the road and am so encouraged to take stock or “know the state of the flock” and seek to avoid those clear and present dangers on the path. The LORD continually reminds me over the years to stay the course… that though a few are older and no longer home, there are many lives yet to shape and guide… that I cannot afford to waste time or to think for a moment that then end of the course is near. It’s today… it’s just begun!
Every once in awhile I think that we’d all do well to now and then reassess our situations and do a little housekeeping in our families – in our parenting… remove clutter, repair the floors or walls, go through the reading materials, check the daily schedules to see where the holes are. You know, the little holes in the day where great siphons creep in and drain the life and resolve right out of a home.
I think it’s a marvelous thing to take a good long look in the mirror… a good honest look and ask: am I where I meant to be and am I where God wants me to be today? Am I on the right path or have I wandered from the way and actually have no real idea where I’m heading?

I am so grateful for the fellowship with brothers and sisters in the LORD – for the iron sharpening iron. How blessed we are and how often we miss this tremendous gift of the LORD bcz we’re looking for something else.

quotebegin.gifLet us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering;
(for he is faithful that promised;)
And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

Hebrews 10.23 – 25

pamelasig2.jpg