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Living long. I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. I’ve been wondering to my self: what would I be doing today if I had been living long for the last thirty-some-odd years? What would I have accomplished or done differently had I been living long all these years of marriage and motherhood? This train of thought is the sort of along the same track of thinking as the question: How would God have used me (or my [...] Have you ever had a dream plan or a dream idea you’ve imagined so long that you actually hope it never happens — for if it comes to pass, then you’ll no longer have the dream to dream? We’ve had such a dream… well, maybe better said, we long ago had such a dream. A dream that was actually a plan. I never noticed that because so much time had passed and that dream never materialized, I’d stopped [...] I received such a beautiful card yesterday. It was a birthday card — but yesterday was not my birthday — well, not technically, anyway. But in a way, it was my birth-day, for twenty-five years ago yesterday I gave birth to our first daughter — third child, first daughter. As I look back, nothing and everything prepared me for that day. O, it wasn’t the gap between her birth and the birth of the son five years [...] Today is not my birthday. Yesterday was not my birthday. The day before yesterday… was. Yet, I woke up yesterday expecting that it should still be my birthday – you know, treats, party hats and special treatment. I call this the birthday-princess mentality. It happens. The birthday princess mentality is kin to other princess mentalities — you know, the date-princess, the shopping-princess, the napping-princess. You get the idea. It’s as if whenever some delightful thing/event/outing happens, it ought [...] The lacy green leaves are slowly appearing and daffodils are beginning to bloom around the old willow tree. Isn’t it an awesome wonder: Every year, every passing season, has its marvelous reminders of the lavish mercy and everlasting kindness of the Lord. May I never take this for granted nor think it not majestic. Passing through many seasons in thirty-three years of marriage, I so hope I never again take for granted my husband’s care and thoughtful gestures. You know, it’s [...] Telling stories of your yesterdays bores some people, encourages some people and inspires some people — embarrasses some people, too. I know, many times through the years, I’ve witnessed the reactions women have when some woman opens her mouth to share her story. I’ve seen it when I’ve shared my story. They’ve heard it all before and they’re weary at the thought of having to hear it ah-gain. People totally write other people off when they’re weary of hearing [...] That’s how the stories usually begin… that’s how they usually come tumbling out of mouth of a woman sitting beside me. The story is actually prefaced with: Can I talk to you? And after I say, Of course, hot tears seem to well up in the eyes of the one who desperately needs to tell someone — someone who will listen, someone who will understand, someone who will care. [ Because of something I might have [...] Still drinking from my saucer ’cause my cup’s overflowed. And, in light of the horrific tragedy that’s befallen Japan, I want to say what I’ve written today is in no way meant to make light of that whole situation. Just wanted to make those comments before I continue writing today’s blog entry. I want to write some more chapters in my CSA mini-series. I’ve dealt with the results, the unintended consequences or the results of sexualabuse through the [...] When Timothy was born, there was a brief hush over the delivery room — enough time for me to realize there must be a problem. Fearing the worst, I asked my husband if the baby had died. No, he said, he’s going to be fine. As Timothy was born, the doctor could see that the cord was wrapped around his next and as he loosened it, it was obvious that there was also a complete knot in his [...] So many times — so many times over the years I’ve asked the Lord to help me learn… Lord, help me learn from this expensive lesson. Lord, I know the situation I’m in is from You… help me learn. Lord, if You have handed me this experience… then help me learn. Lord, even if I say to You, I cannot do this, please do not leave me to myself… please help me learn. These have been the pleas [...] |
 
 End the shame. Protect against childhood sexualabuse. The shame comes from keeping quiet about CSA. Jesus loves us, Jesus heals us.
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