Another birthday for one of our children.  Another day to reflect on the many blessings, provisions and calling of the Lord on this son’s life — the golden child, the brothers and sisters call him.   We all have a smile when someone says this or refers to him in this manner.  They all know they are — each one to me — a golden child, though they’d insist he is the golden child.  ~smile~

So another year, another [...]]]>  

Another birthday for one of our children.  Another day to reflect on the many blessings, provisions and calling of the Lord on this son’s life — the golden child, the brothers and sisters call him.   We all have a smile when someone says this or refers to him in this manner.  They all know they are — each one to me — a golden child, though they’d insist he is the golden child.  ~smile~

So another year, another birthday… another celebration that doesn’t look like one here tonight.  We’ll make up for it when he returns from Africa in a couple of months — but for now, we have had a day of reflection, stories and melancholy, misty eyes.  Well, maybe that was just me with the misty eyes most all day today.  It’s not that I want him to stay around here — I really don’t — but he’s such a delightful person… just missing him especially much today as I’ve been reflecting on the many things that have been particular to him.  I think back on his love for anything-pooh-bear to his love for a favourite blanket and the shiny blond hair of his younger years.  In those days his hair was cut much longer than he’d ever wear it today — in a “bowl cut” — the same style of haircut I gave to each of the other boys before and after him in their younger years.  Two brothers older and four younger than him.  Funny to hear them talk now of how they all loved their hair that way — what they don’t know is that it was the only cut for young boys I knew how to do very well.  I glanced at a pooh bear today…  stopping for a moment to remember… and smiled.

One of the wonderful advantages of the passage of time is that we accumulate many stories and  happy memories — these both bless us and bring us tears when a day such as this comes along.  And while we all miss him for as many different reasons as there’ve been minutes in this day, we’re blessed by the knowledge that he’s right where he ought to be.  And somehow, that makes everything perfect.  Just as a cake & ice cream would be the perfect thing to serve were he to be here at home tonight.

I’ve been reflecting on God’s tender preparations for me for these years — and in different ways, He’s actually prepared all of us for these days.  Showing Himself strong on our behalf, He’s orchestrated quite a mixture of joys and sorrows — gains and losses — working everything together for our good and His glory.  I see this more and more clearly as the years pass.

So, Timothy’s in Africa… adding another birthday to the number of birthdays he’s spent away from home.  I’ll get used to this — perhaps, in a way, I already am.  I think of the years he’s been in Mexico or in Africa and each time I recall, as I’ve done today, that there’s really no place I’d rather have him be.  In the hand of the Lord, anywhere in the world, is the safest and best place to be.   He’s there ministering to the saints, visiting different remote villages and participating in ministering and teaching in Bible seminars.  The opportunities have been a great source of joy and blessing to him as he spends time with old friends and new.  So you see how I could not wish for him to be here and miss all that.

Once again my heart is filled with thanksgiving — knowing I don’t deserve the great honour and privilege of all these years of motherhood.   My thoughts linger here tonight… thankful for  a son who’s in the gracious and merciful hand of the Lord.  God’s been so very kind to Timothy.

May you always be blessed. ♥

Second, though this may not be helpful, you’re not alone and your situation or your  “dilemma”  is not unusual.   The devil may [...]]]> Dear Sister,
First, I want to thank you for writing — for it is in acknowledging our condition and in seeing our need that we can best affirm and apply, by the grace of God, the help or teaching we receive.

Second, though this may not be helpful, you’re not alone and your situation or your  “dilemma”  is not unusual.   The devil may attempt to tell you otherwise, but what you’ve written is common to women who both come home from the “work-force” *and* who’ve been trained otherwise.  The “trained otherwise” is the main problem — not the new daily routine of being home and not out of the home.  That will be the easy part once you accept the calling and seek to define and live it.  You will define it as you go — and you will live it as you define it.

The “it” is the high calling of being a keeper at home… the main tree of motherhood.  Incidentally, motherhood doesn’t relegate a woman to never leaving the home or never having “outside” work — there are likely seasons where one or both of these will happen — but it is my understanding that the season of child birthing, nurturing and training necessitates that mothers stay home to heed the calling the Lord has placed on her life and carry out and do these things.  Radical feminists will argue the point.  But I will continue to defend the Scriptures that call a mother to be a keeper at home, to love her husband and her children, to be discreet, sober, good, chaste, obedient to her husband — seeking all of these — that the Word of God be not blasphemed.

Psalm 113.9  He maketh the barren woman to keep house,
and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.

As to the question of not knowing what to do.  Here’s an exercise that might be helpful for you.  It will take you some time, so you might print this off so you can address it when time allows.  Here is the exercise:

• List all the outcomes you desire (so far as it depends on you) for your life?
• What kind woman do you want to be remembered as being?
• As for your walk with the Lord, how do you see that worked out in your daily life?
• How can you work these attributes into your daily life?  What do you need to implement?
• As for your behaviour and character what specific qualities to you most highly value?
• As a wife?  As a mother?  As a companion?
• What sort of atmosphere do you seek as a description of your home?
• The appearance of your home?  The flow and routine of your homelife?

You may never have had the instruction to be a “godly woman” or a “keeper at home” or a “homemaker” or a “mother.”  But I think you might agree that you do have an idea what this looks like or a dream of what it might be like.  That’s what I’m asking you to consider — that’s what I’m asking you to ponder as you go through the days ahead.  Yes, you may not know what to do – exactly – today, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have any idea.  You may not know the paints, the colours, the hues, the brushes and blades used in painting a portrait, but you’ve seen the portrait or, at least, you’ve imagined it.

Yes, you may have been “instructed otherwise ” and, therefore, you need to spend some time reevaluating, rethinking, reorganizing your thoughts about motherhood and keeping a home — that’s what that “exercise” above is meant to address.  You may be mourning the loss of time — the robbing of your time and purpose as a wife and mother.  Don’t let the devil deceive you that it’s too late.  If you’re still living, it’s not too late.  Don’t ever forget that.  The devil will deceive you to believe otherwise.

That crafty devil’s playbook is very thin — he doesn’t possess many tools or ideas — so he plays them over and over and over again.  The longer you live, the more you’ll see this.

May you always be blessed.

Remember, you are a book that’s being written every day… and your husband and children are reading it.  Your story, in part, is defining their lives.  Let the Lord be the author and finisher of your faith.

You may resent (as many women do) that no one ever told you the truth [...]]]> (This is part 2 of the post What’s a mother to do?)

Remember, you are a book that’s being written every day… and your husband and children are reading it.  Your story, in part, is defining their lives.  Let the Lord be the author and finisher of your faith.

You may resent (as many women do) that no one ever told you the truth about marriage, wives, motherhood and being a keeper at home.  You may also resent that you were persuaded to pursue a career or led to believe that a “professional” career is of more worth than “just hanging around the house all day for the rest of your life.”  And, given that scenario, I just might agree.  But motherhood — true motherhood — and being a keeper at home isn’t at all about “just hanging around the house all day…”   That’s another reason for the “exercise” above.   True motherhood is a God-given, God ordained gift — this has to be, and become to you (and me), more than rhetoric — more that pious words.  This is truly — truly — a very high calling.

And so there’s another thing I’d like to suggest is that you clean the slate — clean the slate of bitterness, resentment, disappointment you may be feeling toward your husband, mother, family and friends who instilled the “otherwise” teachings in your life.  That regret or even anger against people or things will not allow you to move ahead in the way the Lord has planned for you.  His plan is infinitely greater than you can ask or imagine.

Yes, motherhood and being a keeper at home is a cycle of dailies — and, yes, the dailies are *so* daily.  But they are the rudimentary things God uses to refine us.  They are the building blocks of character and training we need and we need to instill in our children.  They are the stuff  of love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and self-control.  And all of these things give motherhood its glory and define its purpose — and they are the things we must yearn for and  seek in and through our lives and the lives of our children.

You may have been trained otherwise, but you’ve got something going for you that can dispel that training and replace it… you’ve got a picture of what you want (and what you don’t want).   The title of that picture is haven and time.  You know you want a haven for your husband and children.  Stop for a moment and ponder what that looks like.  You might keep that word in mind as you fill out some of your answers to the questions above.  The second word, time, is also important to remember as one of the priorities you already know you have (or want to have).  You want to have time for your children.  It, too, will be important to remember when answering the questions.  How will you spend your time in order to have or make time available for your children.  I think you might also be implying that you want your children to remember you as their mama who always had time or made time for them.  This will be important as you set up the routines of your day.

Schedules are very hard to implement and maintain in a home,  but routines — daily set routines — priorities are the set activities of each day; these are things we see that we accomplish each day.  You know the phrase goes something like:  Fail to plan = a plan to fail.  So, that being said, start today… take a step of faith.  Begin with prayer:  Lay all this before the Lord, lay proverbs 14.1)down your life before Him… give Him your sorrows and regrets; give Him your plans and desires; yield to His calling on your life.  If you will commit your way to the Lord, He will direct your steps9.  I know this to be true — I’ve lived this and for me this is not rhetoric but truth — a wise woman builds her house….  When I deviate from this, I fall. I literally fall and utterly fail.  And a house comes down with the foolish mother.  I know this personally and truly — thus I press on and part of my calling is to tell other mothers the truth, to show other mothers that the Lord is Faithful and True and His Word does not fail.

I hope this will help you today… I will think on this further and will write to you again.  You know, the very fact that you wrote tells me you’re off to a wonderful start.  I guess I’d add:  take in the Bread of the Word, eat well, plan well, listen to praise music – not jarring music, get sunshine, seek every single day to find good things… good things to say, good things to think, good things to remember, good things to do for your husband and children.  Their future (and yours!) really and truly depends on decisions you make today and every day.

This may, at first blush, seem harsh — but let the thought sink down in your ears — I say all of these things today at the door of my 34th wedding anniversary. I’ve experienced the fruit of good and bad decisions — good and bad branches and vines.  You know,  good and bad seeds both grow — that’s really a hard reality to grasp and to face — but it’s the truth.  When I’ve neglected things, been distracted over things, been lazy or careless, lost my focus or given the bulk of my attention to things that didn’t pertain to the task at hand, the seeds planted in those times have yielded bad fruit — weeds — noxious weeds –  branches and bitter fruit that needed to be pulled, pruned, burned and/or destroyed… even now, I must be vigilant to watch for roots of bitterness or selfishness of those times and even in these days and take the necessary — painful, humbling and difficult — steps to cut them out.  When I’ve cultivated the soil and have planted good seed, when I’ve invested and have been eager, working diligently, heartily, cheerfully, purposefully and graciously, the blossoms have been fragrant, the branches strong and the fruit sweet.  That’s what I pray will be the result of your life: sweet fruit.

May you always be blessed.

Doing a new thing is tough.  Especially when that new thing takes will power or money — few of us have much of either.  And,  as we age, [...]]]> Based on past performance, many of us can attest that doing a new thing is hard.   This is where some of us fall off the cliff — or don’t even try!  It takes determination to not allow past performance to thwart us from trying or doing a new thing!

Doing a new thing is tough.  Especially when that new thing takes will power or money — few of us have much of either.  And,  as we age, we have this daunting fear that past results (things that were good before they stopped being good) don’t necessarily mean that today’s performance will yield the same success results.  (

I think the devil delights in our doubts as much a he delights in our failings… surely he does when we doubt God or doubt our faith.  But he also delights in sabotaging our efforts seek the Lord and to do good.  Sometimes he’s successful at both.  We mustn’t doubt for a moment that we do have an enemy that hates for us to yield to God, hates for us to seek the Lord — especially seeking the Lord early – hates for us to be faithful to the calling of the Lord in our lives.

I say this because I want to suggest that any attempt to do good or to do a new thing must be bathed in prayer and executed with the blessing of the Lord.  I think failing these two things is what ultimately leads to our failure in doing that new thing — and, certainly, doing it well.

Take daily Bible reading or early rising or prayer or fasting, for example,  if we attempt any in our own strength,  we’ll fail — but, we know from Scripture,  when we commit to seeking the Lord — His will and His righteousness, He will work in and through us — even though it may not look to us (at the time) to be working!

Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him;
and He shall bring it to pass.” -Psalm 37.5

So, as we launch out into the vast expanse of this unblemished year, this uncharted territory, we can be assured that the Lord is already here and He does, indeed, have a marvelous plan for each of us.  And all the things that face us, all the trials and temptations, all the joys and sorrows, all the successes and failures do not — will not — escape His gaze.  He is already there.

Then thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying,
This is the way, walk ye in it, that ye not turn to the right hand
and that ye not turn to the left hand.  -Isaiah 30.21

As we seek to do a new thing, we must first seek His face, take His hand and and wait! and see! if that’s where He wants to lead us.  I truly see Him doing a new thing… I want to follow Him in it… this is the first day of all our tomorrows…  O, may we do a new thing… in faith!

Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth;
shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness,
and rivers in the desert. -Isaiah 43.19

I posted this @ Welcome Home on Facebook… but it’s so important that I thought I’d share it here.  I’ve been posting brief year-end countdown thoughts on Facebook @ Welcome Home.  In the new year I hope to post daily home notes and verses for encouragement.

This, from Dictionary.Reference.com:  Acronym: “1943 coinage from acro-, comb. form of Gk. akros [...]]]> I was wondering about the origin of the word, Acronym.  And then got to thinking about different acronyms I regularly read.  A few, I couldn’t remember the actual meaning — I see some of them every day, but for the life of me, I cannot remember what they stand for.   In case you are also wondering: if you want to find acronyms and abbreviations you can look here.

This, from Dictionary.Reference.com:  Acronym: “1943 coinage from acro-, comb. form of Gk. akros “tip, end” (see acrid) + Eng. -onym “name” (abstracted from homonym; see name). The practice was non-existent before 20c. except in cabalistic esoterica and acrostic poetry.”

An acronym is: A Clever Reduction Of Names You Memorize — try it yourself. )

So, what does this have to do with anything?  Actually, I was folding some laundry and saw the word: woW inside a pair… and I began to laugh.  I thought of different acronyms for: woW.   You’re probably thinking I spend too much time folding laundry and have gone over the edge.  As I turned them over, I saw that it’s not woW, it’s: Mom.  Then thought about the word: Mom.   And then…

I went to fix a cup of tea.

Happy day to you: Women Ofthe Word!
And, blessings to you: Mothers Of Many: who Make Our Memories, Mold Our Minds, Make Our Meals and Mind Our Manners, Minimize Our Mistakes and ‘Muse Other Mothers. ♥

Last year, the year you’ve heard me describe as [...]]]> I know.  I’d probably grimace if one of my kids started an essay: “Stuff’s going to work out.”   But, it’s on my mind today: stuff — and how it works out.   But I want to begin by saying: stuff’s probably not going to work out how you thought it would — or even how you hoped it would — but, truly, in the end, stuff’s going to work out.

Last year, the year you’ve heard me describe as the most sorrowful year of my life,  I heard a song… it was one of two songs that so resonated with me that I played them over and over and over again.  Hymns and psalms and spiritual songs minister to my heart, they lift my thoughts heavenward and they seem to dispel the darkness of doubt and despair.

Over and over in my head I would hear the words, It’s going to be alright.  I knew this — because I knew that God only does all things well — but I also didn’t know this — do you know what I mean?  I didn’t know – know – know this because of what I was *seeing.*  What I was seeing looked to be anything but alright.  But in my wrestling, I knew the it was so big God must be in it.  In my wrestling I knew that none of it had escaped His gaze and that He would work it together for good.  He could not do anything other than that.  And I knew that.   But for ninety-seven days I struggled.  Struggle still.  Sometimes.

On the night that my whole world seemed to come crashing down around me I didn’t see that it was going to be alright.  I didn’t see how it could be alright.  Through a series of events, that led to one of our children leaving home for ninety seven days, I learned to see, believe, trust and hope in God as I never have before — and what I didn’t know at the time was that God was, indeed, using that event as an instrument to both chasten and strengthen me — to both humble and lift me — to crush me and to fill me.  I needed all of that — I needed it much more than I needed to know that it was all going to be alright.  What I needed to know was something I thought I knew but didn’t.   It was something I taught I knew but didn’t.  Maybe that’s a bit harsh — I guess, in reality, I knew as much as I knew of that truth — but I didn’t know as much I know of that fact now.

That child was longing for love, attention, time, affirmation… and I was busy.  I was distracted.  I was doing good things but not best things.  And that child went away — to my great shame, regret and sorrow — but by the grace of God returned ninety-seven days later.  Returned home, broken, completely restored and strengthened in faith and was genuinely welcomed home — such a beautiful testimony of the mercy and grace of God.  I, on the other hand, very humbled, broken and filled with such regret and sorrow, was still trying to gather up the shards and pieces of my life.  I am only now beginning to understand all that the Lord had for me in that lesson.  And,  I so do not want to miss anything He had for me in that very expensive and painful lesson — and though I’m not speaking financially at all, it was, truly,  a very costly lesson — I cannot afford to miss what He had, or has, for me in it/through it.

I won’t elaborate on the details of those days — but I’d like to say that the lessons I learned in that valley were and are very, very precious and have given me great hope and great faith in the Lord’s dealings with me — with us all.  He showed me, in so many ways, how resourceful and creative He is.  He showed me that none can pluck one of His little ones out of His hand.  He showed me that He cares for my child — my children — more and better than I ever could and He showed me He loved that little one… and never shifted His gaze.  And He loved me, too.  No matter that I did not deserve His mercy and His love.  He showed me that He loved me too much to leave me where I was – going on the track I was going.  I needed that correction.  I needed it so much.

One thing kept ringing through — I knew for certain all through that dark valley was that I was going to to need what I received there – I was going to need that faith, that hope and that trust in God.  I didn’t know how, I didn’t know why and I didn’t know when — but I knew I was going to need it.  I said to myself over and over: you’re going to need this.  You’re going to need this one.

And I did need it — not only for the following, but for many things since:  Only a couple of months later…  it didn’t take long and it wasn’t at all difficult to figure it out  when our missionary son returned from Africa – and then the following week lay sick in the hospital — in a coma, very sick with cerebral malaria.  It was then that I knew that I knew… the Lord truly is all I have and all I need.

It’s a real risk sharing stuff sometimes — but I think it would be pretty selfish not to.  If you barely hanging on… if you feel like you’re sinking in too deep… if there’s some pain that’s tearing you apart, then, would you cast your cares upon the Lord Jesus — would you trust Him that it’s all going to be alright — that He truly is going to work everything together for good — for your good and His glory.  He who cannot lie — cannot fail.  And He, who loved you first… loves you still.  And stuff’s going to work out.  Really… you have His Word on it.  Maybe not like you thought and not like you hoped… but stuff’s going to work out.

The words to the Sara Groves song: It’s Going to be Alright

It’s going to be alright, It’s going to be alright

I can tell by your eyes that you’re not getting any sleep
And you try to rise above it, but feel you’re sinking in too deep
Oh, oh I believe, I believe that

It’s going to be alright, It’s going to be alright

I believe you’ll outlive this pain in you heart
And you’ll gain such a strength from what is tearing you apart
Oh, oh I believe I believe that

It’s going to be alright, It’s going to be alright

When some time has past us, and the story if retold
It will mirror the strength and the courage in your soul
Oh, oh, I believe I believe,

I believe, I believe

I did not come here to offer you cliche’s
I will not pretend to know of all your pain
Just when you cannot, then I will hold out faith, for you

It’s going to be alright, It’s going to be alright