You can read the post: The Dash-lights in Marriage there and also take some time to browse/bookmark her site for numerous encouraging articles along with various resources for you and [...]]]> I have the honour of  “guest posting” today at Jennifer’s Renewing Housewives site.

You can read the post: The Dash-lights in Marriage there and also take some time to browse/bookmark her site for numerous encouraging articles along with various resources for you and your family).

It’s interesting that the poem should come in the  mail today… as I have been thinking of several different ones who have ‘vacant chairs’ at their tables [...]]]> I’ve entitled this blog entry The Vacant Chair — a title that’s not original with me, but the title of a poem I’ll add to this post in a moment.  The poem was written by a dear saint, the husband of a precious friend who passed into heaven earlier this year.

It’s interesting that the poem should come in the  mail today… as I have been thinking of several different ones who have ‘vacant chairs’ at their tables again this year.  I think of the mothers and fathers who stand at the glass watching for the wayward son or daughter, hoping he or she will be home to occupy his or her chair at the table this year.  I think of the families who won’t have a baby to hold, a parent to care for, a friend to visit at Christmastime… more empty chairs.  I think of friends who have a vacant womb — bruised heart this Christmastime.

I think of families who will visit and look into the vacant, dim eyes of loved ones with vacant minds — long ago leaving vacant chairs.  I think of couples with vacant chairs of children they never bore or only hold in their hearts. I think of those whose choices keep them afar off — who’ll not be home again this year — vacant chairs.  I think of those whose husbands are off fighting in a war they never wanted to fight — the family tables with a vacant chair again this year.  I think of friends or family who’ve moved away and they’ll miss sitting in the chairs around a familiar table this year.  I think of mothers and dads who’ve married off a son or daughter this past year — a sweet sadness may wash over them — as they set tables with fewer chairs.  And there are innumerable other scenarios… innumerable empty chairs.  Vacant chairs will tell many stories… some, only in the heart.

The Vacant Chair was written by a loving, faithful husband whose eyes are growing dim, but whose memory is sweet and keen: for a wife who lived such a remarkable, long, full life — occupying the chair beside him for some sixty-seven years.

VACANT CHAIR

I love you dear with all my heart,
True love was ours to share,
God has called you to His Home,
I’m left with a vacant chair.

I think of things I’ve done today,
My toil and my care;
I praise the Lord you’re free from pain,
But I’m left with a vacant chair.

The day will come, I’ll join you there,
In Heaven, bright and fair,
We’ll praise the Lord, with all our heart,
And there’ll be no vacant chair!

Paul R Turnidge

God has shown Himself wonderful to me. Every day I am amazed how He directs my path. Sometimes I look through my windshield of life and wonder where I’m going, then I look in the rear view mirror and see how far I have gone,  and amazingly exclaim, “Surely the Lord has led me.”"

Additionally, in that post [...]]]> I smile as I look back and recall a blog entry I wrote on the 22nd of March called Springtime… seasons. At the end of that post I wrote:  “… And I can truly say that God has had the sweetest surprises in store for me following some of the seemingly most barren seasons.  Praise the Lord.  He only does all things well.  May I never take this for granted.”

Additionally, in that post I included the lyrics of a song Spring Time’s Comin’ that’s surely become even more meaningful to me since that post was written — because just two weeks later I opened the door to receive a package someone had sent to us.  I could not have known on that day that the Lord, indeed, had a marvelous surprise right around the corner.

Remember the lyrics to that Spring time song?  “…Right before your eyes, God has the sweetest surprise, all the new things He has planned to colour your world… Spring time’s comin’.”

As I looked at that package, I wondered what could this be?!? I even called my husband to tell him a package had come – mostly bcz he is the one who receives packages more often than anyone else here in our home.  I thought it surely must be a business related package.  But, oddly, it was sent by UPS from UPS.  Strange.  And so, the phone tucked between my ear and shoulder, I opened the box… dug through the zillions of packing chips to find another box.  Open it, open it, he exclaimed!   And as I opened the box I saw a letter… three pages… and I began to read… Wes, still listening…

Again, remember the lyrics to that Spring time song?  “…Right before your eyes, God has the sweetest surprise, all the new things He has planned to colour your world… Spring time’s comin’.” Well, right before my eyes God did have the sweetest surprise… After reading the first page, I turned to the second…. what?!?!? Itinerary?!?! *Our* names?!?!  What?!?!  Then, a book: Hawai’i!?!?!  What!?!?!  Then turning to the third page… what!?!?!  We’re staying here…?!?!?  Omygoodness, this must be a joke… how can this be?!?!  Who could have done this wonderful thing?!?!?! How can this be?!?!?

“…Right before your eyes, God has the sweetest surprise, all the new things He has planned to colour your world… Spring time’s comin’.”

Now that dream — that wonderful dream — is part of the beautiful collage of memories we have.  And it is, undoubtedly, one of the more beautiful memories of our whole life – truly being the best and longest time we’ve ever spent alone together.  It was a dream – but better – a dream come true.

Later we would have confirmation that all that was contained in the package was indeed true and was for real.  Emails from Aloha For Reals gave more confirmation (and more questions… more what in the world?!?!?  more how can this be!?!?!).  It was then that  we began to dream… and that’s when I wrote that post A new start and an old dream.

Weary of the winter,  grieved over disappointments and misunderstandings, lost in wonder how to put life in proper perspective and move on from trials and failings… Springtime came and with it the hope of a brighter tomorrow.

As I wrote, while we were in Hawai’i, we asked the Lord many times: why are we here?  why have You so blessed us in this incredibly lavish way?  Well, initially, we saw the great blessing of just being there – the beauty, the brightness, the warmth, the aloha!, the joy of being alone and in love, the peace and quiet, the rest…  but then I began to see God’s great message written everywhere we went: God is not without witness!  God preserves a witness – He preserves a hope and a future.  Beautiful, fragrant flowers growing in tens of thousands of acres of lava fields gave witness to this great and precious truth: God is not without witness anywhere!  And… thus: in my life, springtime came.  I’ll share tomorrow some more things the Lord showed me there and when we returned home.  More significant to me, with each passing day, is the fact that God was demonstrating all winter long, all through the early Springtime, He did have a marvelous plan for us… and it wasn’t  just that wonderful trip – it was that, and more.

More of that song again:

It’s been a long hard winter, Spring’s long overdue…
Icy wind, cruel and bitter has chilled hope out of you,
you want to look ahead, but your heart’s so full of dread,
you can’t see the subtle changes in the air…
Spring time’s coming…

On the heels of a Winter wind, balmy breezes
will blow across your garden again,
the seeds of hope you’ve planted,
are alive beneath the snow, the blooms are yet to show…
this season will end.

Spring time’s coming, after the winter wind.

I know it’s hard to imagine that Spring’s on the way…
With the trees brown and barren and the skies so gray –

Right before your eyes God has the sweetest surprise
All the new things He’s prepared to colour your world…
Spring time’s coming.

As long as heaven and earth remain
God promises the seasons will change
Spring time’s coming.

We’ve often commented over the [...]]]> Thirty three  and a quarter years ago today, Wes and I were married in SanFrancisco.  The glow we had that 4th day of February truly was the glow of love, but it was also the glow of a high fever — a fever that led us to go to the doctor for meds and a fever that led to us to cancel our honeymoon plans to go to Hawaii — to Maui.

We’ve often commented over the years that we knew the Lord was in control of those plans — those cancellations — and had a better plan for us for that time.  We just dreamed we’d take that honeymoon trip someday.

As I type this message, I’m seated outside on a lovely lanai, beside Wes at a beautiful teak dining table — terracotta tiles under our bare feet.  Many times in the last couple of days I’ve been crying at the grace and mercy of the Lord as I reflect on the provision of the Lord, the experiences of the last year and a half and the exceeding merciful kindness He’s shown me – us. Tears of joy, tears of sorrow, tears of thankfulness, tears of regret, tears of hope.  This morning, I’m so humbled and cry more tears…

We’re having morning coffee together, rested from a day of travel and a wonderfully romantic night and first morning in a villa of indescribable beauty.   From this lanai, we hear the sweetest music as the birds sing from tree to tree.  As we look out, we have the most incredible view of palm trees, breathtaking  plants and flowers, the glittering ocean — the only sounds are our voices, the chirping of the birds and the swaying of the palms in the warm breeze.  And sunshine – glorious sunshine.

Someday has come and we’re on our honeymoon… thirty three years later.

But that’s not why we’re here — though it is truly a romantic, honeymoon-feeling trip, we know there’s a far greater purpose, a far more important reason we’re here… for we didn’t plan this trip — we couldn’t have; we didn’t choose this magnificent spot, we wouldn’t have been able to do so.  And the unbelievable accommodations and amenities… we’re almost unable to comprehend or absorb.  We’re simply  here by the grace and mercy of the Lord — through the generosity of someone who arranged this whole occasion for us.  We’re waiting on the Lord for His work to be done in and through us.  We’re waiting on Him to show us more of the why we’re here – and we pray for His complete restoration, rejuvenation, refreshment and ministry to be done in and through us.  Together and individually.

And so… to the Lord and to our generous benefactor we can only very humbly say:  Thank You and Thank you.

I’ll share more later.  But I want to conclude with a note about our prayer and Bible reading this morning – which I will also explain in more detail later.  I’m reading in Joshua 14-15… Wes is, in the natural course of  his daily reading through the Word, reading about the Lord’s direction to Elijah in 1 Kings 17 & 18.   This is of such extreme importance to us – for it is sort of a stunning & miraculous confirmation to us regarding the message our generous benefactor gave us in this gift.  It could not be coincidence that he would be reading there on this day.  A Co-incident, but not a coincidence.  Praise only the Lord.

And, by the way, the unbelievably deep blue of the water contrasted against the lighter blue sky and billowy white clouds… well, it’s just… unbelievable.  More tears.

“If ye love Me, keep My commandments.” —John 14.15

O, sisters in the LORD—could this be *the* year for you?

This is when the real change will occur… when we finally seek to know and to live the truths of God’s Word…when we lay our lives at His feet, when we give Him everything we’ve held on to: hands down… when we accept and apply the teaching of [...]]]>

Could This Be *The* Year For You?

“If ye love Me, keep My commandments.”
—John 14.15

O, sisters in the LORD—could this be *the* year for you?

This is when the real change will occur… when we finally seek to know and to live the truths of God’s Word…when we lay our lives at His feet, when we give Him everything we’ve held on to: hands down… when we accept and apply the teaching of the Lord Jesus—demonstrating our love for Him by our obedience to Him…  When we finally reckon with: If you love Me you will obey Me.

Could this be the year that you really get down on your knees and confess before the only Holy and Righteous LORD, who loves you endlessly, that you’ve been trying to “go it on your own” and that you are indeed willing that He would use you in whatever way He would choose and that, the Holy Spirit being your guide, you would willingly submit to His will and His ways?  Could this be the year that you allow the Holy Spirit free reign in your life?  Could this be the year that you would seriously begin to regularly rise early to drink from the rich well of God’s Word? Could this be the year that you would resolve to live in obedience to your husband—not because of what you will gain, but because of the LORD’s command that you do so? Could this be the year that you would cherish the blessings of the LORD: your children?

Could this be the year that you would redeem the time, that you would study the Word for yourself—that you would become a woman of the Word, rightly dividing the Word of Truth. Could this be the year that you would wisely choose the activities in which you would become involved, making sure that they are in line with your husband’s aims for your family, that they are Christ centered and Christ honouring?

Could this be the year that you would weigh very carefully the books you read, the places you might go and the decisions you might make? Could this be the year that you begin consulting your husband before you begin new projects, from attending a Bible study to following the leader of a weight control program, ordering from a catalog, accepting an invitation to another home-party, or taking on another women’s ministry?

Could this be the year that you come home—I mean really come home—to serve your husband? Could this be the year that you daily anticipate and prepare for the return of your husband each day? Could this be the year that you take up those tender things and tender ways you used to do and be for your husband? Could this be the year that you “fall in love all over again” with the man the LORD created
and “fitted” you to help? Could this be the year that your husband will never forget?  Could this be the year that you look forward to meeting his needs? Could this be a year of fresh loving romance for you two? Could this be the year that you anticipate meeting his needs by getting enough rest, ordering the evenings, eating properly and exercising so that you are refreshed for him?  (“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.  Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.” -Proverbs 5.18-19)

O, if your love for your husband has decreased, if your desire for him has gone… pray the LORD will help you delight in him once again, pray He will love your husband through you and that you will once again desire him.  God is a God of miracles, nothing is too hard for the LORD.  (Jeremiah 32.27 “Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?”)

Could this be the year that you would determine to be a contented wife, I mean really contented—content with him, his salary, your home, your  automobile, your possessions? (Hebrews 13.5) I have heard many many times, there is nothing that pleases a man more than a contented wife… he can deal with a little clutter from time to time, he can deal with a little overweight, he can deal with delayed dinner, a forgotten appointment—but a discontented wife closes off the spirit of the man and drives him away.

Could this be the year that you come home—I mean really come home—as a servant to your family?  Could this be the year that they know without doubt that you love them and *desire* to serve them, teach them, help them, prepare a home for them, are not inconvenienced by them, are not tired of them, are not waiting for them to hurry up and grow up so that you can get on with your life?  If you’re a mama… this *is* your life.  Could this be the year that you will *enjoy* what God has designed for you?  (“He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.”—Psalms 113.9)  O, if your gladness or desire has waned, pray the LORD will restore your love for the children… pray that He will help you see them as He sees them—as blessings. He loves children… and He will help you love them… (Genesis 18.14 “Is any thing too hard for the LORD?…”)  You can trust Him to help you love them the way He wants you to love them and care for them as He would have you to care for them.  He can restore your love for them — for motherhood and for your home.

You know, my sweet sisters in the LORD… this could be *the year* for each one of us. This could be the year that we all come home… and *do* those things we know that the LORD has directed in His Holy Word.

2Timothy 3.14-17
“But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;  And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.  All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.”

Could this be the year of obedience—regardless of what others say or think or do?

Once again the Lord Jesus said: “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” —John 14.15

As we embark on another year,  I pray that you would join me in seeking all the above — that you would join me in truly seeking to be an obedient woman, keeping the commandments of the Lord Jesus, following Him, delighting also in Him: earnestly seeking Him.

With love to you, In Jesus—pamela spurling

Reprint… originally written in 2000, revised 2006 Letters to my Sisters

       “Love thinks.  It’s not a mindless feeling that rides on waves of emotion and falls asleep mentally.  It keeps busy in thought, knowing that loving thoughts precede loving actions.”

Today’s ‘dare’ is based on the  principle that Love is Thoughtful.  I have been prompted to ask myself many times:  is this thoughtful… am I mindful of his feelings, wishes, desires?  Am I thinking — really thinking — of his needs?

The book outlines ways we slip out of being [...]]]>

       “Love thinks.  It’s not a mindless feeling that rides on waves of emotion and falls asleep mentally.  It keeps busy in thought, knowing that loving thoughts precede loving actions.”

Today’s ‘dare’ is based on the  principle that Love is Thoughtful.  I have been prompted to ask myself many times:  is this thoughtful… am I mindful of his feelings, wishes, desires?  Am I thinking — really thinking — of his needs?

The book outlines ways we slip out of being thoughtful — or how we tend to be less thoughtful than we were, say, when we were first falling in love.  We told one another we couldn’t stop thinking of the other.  And… after marriage other things are allowed to come in and crowd our thoughts toward our spouse… that we ‘drift into thinking about your job, your friends, your problems, your personal desires, yourself.  After awhile, you unintentionally begin to ignore the needs of your spouse.”

So, I thought about this chapter.  I asked — boldly asked myself: do I do this?  Do I think of everyone else or everything else before I think of him?  Do other things hold greater priority in my thoughts, plans and decisions?

“If you don’t learn to be thoughtful,  you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love.  Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship.”

This day’s dare was to:  “Contact your spouse sometime  during the business of the day.  Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.”  (and again, a _____ Check here when you’ve completed today’s dare.)

This was not really a new thing to me… I often call my husband and he often calls me. But you know what grabbed my attention?  He left me a cell-phone text message of a phone number I was to call and bcz it was not a call I could have made right then… I didn’t reply right away.  I knew he was busy so I justified my not returning the message  — his message required no reply, really.   But, later, I thought… now, it would have been thoughtful to return the message with any sort of affirmation or acknowledgment .  You see? I could have used that text to give thanks as well as ask if there was anything I could do for him.

So, I determined to use that experience as a prompting to be more attentive and thoughtful… even in the smallest things.   And I do want to be faithful (and thoughtful) even in the smallest things.  And not bcz of any book or dare or anything like that… but bcz it’s the very least I could do for the great love that’s been shown and given to me.

Love is not Selfish.  This chapter begins with the comment:     “We live in a world that is enamored with  ‘self.’  The culture around us teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, and personal desires as the top priority.  The goal, it seems, is to chase the highest level of happiness possible…”

I am continuing to mull over each days’ entries and suggestions.  I am finding that it’s increasingly difficult to relate to this book from my personal standpoint — and I’ll [...]]]>

Love is not Selfish.  This chapter begins with the comment:     “We live in a world that is enamored with  ‘self.’  The culture around us teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, and personal desires as the top priority.  The goal, it seems, is to chase the highest level of happiness possible…”

I am continuing to mull over each days’ entries and suggestions.  I am finding that it’s increasingly difficult to relate to this book from my personal standpoint — and I’ll tell you why.  My husband and I have determined to whatever has been necessary to have a strong, commited, loyal and enduring marriage.   So… the Love Dare book is not a challenge, necessarily.   Interestingly enough though,  I find this to be a valuable book — but it’s not something that’s particularly grabbing my attention for personal application like the movie “Fireproof” grabbed my attention.  And I think it’s bcz I saw the movie and for two hours I was reveling in the fact that I love(!) marriage — I love(!) my husband — I am, year after year, fighting to proclaim this message of hope, commitment, covenant and importance of marriage and, therefore, I have recommended the movie, Fireproof, bcz it very much championed my deeply held personal convictions. For the two hours of the movie, I was cheering the decisions to fight for marriage — to contend for the faith in Jesus Christ and to live according to His Word.

I do this daily.  I have been doing this daily.  I will continue to do this daily.

Our marriage is strong.  Our love is strong — our commitment to one another *and* to the Lord Jesus Christ is strong.  We are already merciful with one another.  We are already patient with one another.  We are already not selfish with one another… and tomorrow’s exercise (Love is thoughtful) we are already doing as well… and the next day (Love is not rude) we are already doing as well.

So, why am I still determined to keep plugging away at this book?  Well… I’ll tell you… it’s not necessarily going to be for our marriage… but I am using it as a personal life “check-up.”   I wouldn’t think of being unkind, rude, selfish, impatient… etc., etc. with my husband… but what about my whole life?  What about my life in general.  Now, I will keep my focus on the intent of this book — but my husband does not like being a project any more than I do and we both destest contrived situations — and so, I am telling him about the day’s ‘topic’ and we’re sort of working through things together and I’m using the suggestions to “go the second mile” so to speak.

I’m behind on recording the entries for each day.  The day I was working on “Love is not selfish,” my husband was driving me an hour south of our home to a doctor appointment.  From there, he would drive me another 2 hours north of  our home I was to attend and would teach in a Titus2 group meeting.  I exclaimed to him…. wait!  I’m supposed to not be selfish today! ;o)  And he, not missing a beat, quickly answered… “O, I am doing today’s lesson!”    Where I was not to be putting my interests, desires and priorities in front of my husband… that day it seemed that that’s just what I was doing.   And yet, the Lord spoke to my heart.  I was yielding to my husband’s care and provision and protection… I could have been selfish and could have said:  No, I’ll go myself — I’ll drive myself and you don’t worry about a thing.  Instead, the *un*selfish thing to do was to share the afternoon — be taken to my appointment and then on to the meeting.

So… in answer to the questions posed in the book:  (I answered heartily: yes!)

Do I truly want what’s bet for my husband?
Do I want him to feel loved by me?
Does he believe I have his best interest in mind?
Does he see me as looking out for myself first?

The ‘exercise’ was to do something for your spouse that would show investment in them… to buy something that would say:  “I am thinking of you today.”   Well… on the way to the meeting, we stopped and shared dinner at an old fashioned ice cream parlour sort of diner.  As we ate, we talked over my talk for the meeting, the Love Dare book — that day’s ‘dare’ and many things.  We reminisced over the many times we’d gone to similar sorts of places and thought of how we’d done different things for one another over the years.   So… I gave my husband attention — he gave the same to me.  Love is not selfish.

Just as I have been very conscious of the previous days’ dares… I am adding them day by day and these “dares” are sort of governing and prompting my thoughts.   I am hemmed in… the LORD has so blessed me.

”

The Love Dare — Day 2 — Love is Kind

   Today’s Dare was much like (in my mind anyway) yesterday’s dare — except it was more “outward” or “tangible” instead of passive, personal or inward.  Whereas yesterday’s dare was a “be careful, little mouth, what you say” sort of thing,  I think today’s dare was more: be careful caring, little hands, what you do.   However, that said, being kind (as with being patient) also requires great emotional and verbal restraint from [...]]]>

The Love Dare — Day 2 — Love is Kind

   Today’s Dare was much like (in my mind anyway) yesterday’s dare — except it was more “outward” or “tangible” instead of passive, personal or inward.  Whereas yesterday’s dare was a “be careful, little mouth, what you say” sort of thing,  I think today’s dare was more: be careful caring, little hands, what you do.   However, that said, being kind (as with being patient) also requires great emotional and verbal restraint from time to time.

Not reading ahead for tomorrow’s dare, the coupling of the first two ‘dares’ for the second day was really instructive and encouraging to me.   Now, it was encouraging — not because I have so much or so little need in this area but because I really loved the challenge to do more — to be more — for my husband.   I don’t have marital strife or troubles with my husband — so, in many ways, I could tend to dismiss this book out of hand and sort of smugly ignore it.  But I have chosen to read it and go through journey and the exercises of each day.  My reason is much like my reasons are for doing any sort of Bible study or class — I want to improve the things that are already good or satisfying, I want to have ‘blind spots’ revealed (and corrected), I want to know the Lord’s will more and more and I want to learn new things or see things in a new light — and in this case, so that an already strong marriage can be fortified.

I woke up this morning with today’s dare on my mind.  I thought of some of the suggestions in the book that were given to shed light on the topic of kindness.  It gives suggestions regarding gentleness, willingness, initiative, and helpfulness (with a paragraph of illustrations for each of those).  “She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” — Proverbs 31. 26  Now that’s a great way or a powerful admonishment for starting the day right, isn’t it!?

Here’s another quote from this chapter:  … But love in its truest sense is not based on feelings.  Rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward.  You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness.”

Day 2

In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today,
do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

_____Check here when you’ve completed today’s dare.

What discoveries about love did you make today?  What specifically did you do in this dare?  How did you show kindness?”

I loved looking for ways to demonstrate kindness — and you know, once again, I found myself doing this in many areas of my life – husband, home and family.  As I did specific chores and meal preps, I was especially mindful as to how it would appear or how kind or gracious I could respond to each person or each situation that arose today and I made extra effort to get many things done.  O… ack… I just now remembered I forgot to put away a shovel.  Ooops.  When I answered questions, I thought of my tone and words in replies.  I wanted my husband to know that I had prepared his plate especially for him and was cheerful about what he was doing — this was not difficult… he’s very easy to please, very easy to prepare for and to serve.

So, day two:  check, check. ;o)

Tomorrow:  Love is Not Selfish

I’ve skimmed through the book — but I’ve intentionally not read through the whole thing… so that I will approach each day with an open mind.   I understand why the authors have chosen some of the headings or topics – as they follow 1Corinthians 13 in presenting  some of the days [...]]]> This is going to be some journey as I attempt to follow the ‘rules’ and go through each of the forty days’ suggestions.  I cannot, however, resist making a few comments.

I’ve skimmed through the book — but I’ve intentionally not read through the whole thing… so that I will approach each day with an open mind.   I understand why the authors have chosen some of the headings or topics – as they follow 1Corinthians 13 in presenting  some of the days challenges or “love dares.”   I also want to point out a thought expressed in the introduction:  “If you accept this dare, you must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to lead it.  The world says follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is.”  (and then Jeremiah 17.9 is noted)  They admonished to choose instead to “lead your heart to that which is best in the long run…”

So, Day 1  Love is Patient

This chapter is sort of the foundation for the book or the ‘dares.’  They say, “Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is.  Those pillars are patience and kindness.”   I would have said the two pillars of love are: Faith and Mercy.  But I didn’t write The Love Dare…  And so the first dare is the dare to be patient.

Here are a few of the chapter quotes:  “Patience is a deep breath.  It clears the air.  It stops foolishness from whipping its scorpion tail all over the room.”  And a few others: “Patience, however, makes us wise… helps you give your spouse permission to be human… it understands that everyone fails…”  This is why I would say one of the pillars of love is mercy — it’s the gift of God’s mercy that enables us to be patient and so on.

The Dare (in part):  For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all…”
Each day’s entry has this exercise following ‘dare’   “_____Check here when you’ve completed today’s dare. ”

A couple of questions prompts recollection of the day and reactions to situations.
My notes:
Well… I can happily say I’ve been patient with my husband.  This is very easy bcz he is very easy to live with and years have taught me to rest in his care for me.  But I have thought on other days when I was impatient with a decision he was making or not making and I couldn’t see why he was doing thus and so.  Interestingly, very seldom has he been ‘wrong’ in a decision or a plan — he might disagree — but I see with 20/20 hindsight why he did some of the things I initially thought weren’t the wisest decisions.  And I shudder to think where we’d be had my plan been agreed to or whatever when we had two different views on a decision. It’s very, very rare that we have different views on a decision — as opinionated as I am, I can pretty readily see his side or idea and can see the wisdom in it.

We had a situation come up over the weekend that needed to be handled this morning and I knew my husband would take care of it… and I smiled as I knew this day’s dare… I genuinely rested in whatever he needed to do today because I had predetermined to be patient! no matter what!   ;o)  What a blessing it was to just watch the situation be resolved so well and know that the LORD is glorified by a resolve to trust in Him.

I notice that I am not patient when I don’t have my ‘stuff done’ or when I have neglected to do what I ought  — when I feel threatened by a situation or something.  It’s sort of the precursor to a defensive answer when responding to why I should do something or why I haven’t done something or  when I am nervous about what “someone might think” — then I might be impatient with him (or my children or myself!!) — but, again, time and experience has really taught me to listen to what he has (or they have) to say and why he’s (or they’re) saying it.

A blessing:  the determination and decision to BE patient — to be a patient wife (and mother)!   It’s been hard today to simply use this dare specifically for Wes and not also for the rest of my family and my thoughts… but I’ll take that as an admonition from the LORD.  Other parts of this book *are* just for Wes. ;o)

By the way… this book is a forty day journey — but it’s really intended to be a launching of a lifetime lifestyle of genuine love for one’s spouse.

It’s been a good day — a sunny day here.  Tomorrow:  Day 2 — Love is Kind